Beneath, You're Beautiful Too
by BlueRegina06
Summary: Silence shelters the loudest of all monsters. Emotions, burning to be spoken but they stay hidden, trembling in fear. Pain, hatred, regret, suffering, all wrapped up in a beautiful, blue cover. Where is the boundary between salvation and destruction, love and hate, right and wrong? But… Do those boundaries exist in the first place? - AU, OOC, yaoi, swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my new fiction! This one is going to be way bigger – at least as it is in my mind right now – and it is going to be a lot of OC, I insist on that. I would like to avoid any future misunderstandings by clarifying my intensions about the characters from the beginning. **

**Anyways! I would also like to send a huge "Thank you!" to my wonderful beta who always supports me and helps me improve my work in any way possible. You're a sweetheart!**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. **

**However, I do own and claim Emily's character. **

**XXXX **

_Maid? Fuck no. Cashier at the supermarket? Still no, the pay is too low and the time does not suit me... Argh!_

Ichigo threw the newspaper on his brand new IKEA table in agitation and buried his head into his both hands.

_Why was it so difficult to find a decent job? Even part-time would do!  
_  
Brown eyes scanned around his beloved apartment, his heart clenching at the thought of losing it just because he didn't have enough money to pay the rent. Ichigo dropped his head in defeat and groaned. Ever since he left his hometown, Japan, to come to America for one and only reason of becoming a doctor, Ichigo had faced a lot of hardships; first of all was the fucking pre-med. Seriously, if you asked him personally, the pre-medical course was the stupidest idea Americans ever had. _Anyway_, he made it successfully through the four years of seer, useless torture and currently he was at his second year of Medical School.

_How had those six years gone by, he didn't even notice._

What he did know though was the fact that he had no money to support himself anymore. His ape-shit idiot of a father decided that it was a good idea to completely cease all the weak financial support he was already providing.

"You have to grow up and find a well paying job, my son!", the man had yelled over the phone.

It was not that Ichigo didn't work the previous years. As a matter of fact he worked as a lifeguard in a camp for kids in the summer and as a personal trainer in the winter. His fondness for sports could not stay hidden, neither from his constant workout nor from his... body.

Ichigo was relatively tall – for a Japanese person at least – 6 feet sharp, and 160 pounds of sleek muscle. He was quite popular with the ladies both in Japan and America; his looks worked wonders indeed. Chocolate brown eyes made girls go crazy, a rare smile to die for and the cherry at the top of the cake? He had orange hair.

_Yeah, orange._

The color attracted too much unwanted attention in his opinion, nosy people asking whether it was real or not. _It was real. _

_Just ask and you'll see the evidence._

Suddenly, an idea struck Ichigo's head light lightning. "I could become a stripper!", he said out loud but as soon as the words left his mouth he scowled and slouched back in his chair, defeated.

_What was he saying? Of course he couldn't become a stripper.  
_  
As absorbed as he was in his job-hunting, he didn't realize that valuable time was passing until he looked at the clock on the wall. "Shit!", he cursed, jumping out of his chair as if electrocuted. _He was going to be late for his anatomy class!  
_  
_And he had the worst stuck up prick as a professor…_

With his impressive stamina and speed, however, Ichigo managed to arrive in class just a second before the professor shut the door in his face. Unfortunately, he wasn't off the hook just yet; the strict anatomy professor, with the long black hair falling carelessly over his shoulders, gave him a look of disapproval before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Mr. Kurosaki," he said in his monotonous, even voice, his face expressionless, "You should provide yourself with a clock next time. The class starts at 11:59."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the man's anal behavior, Ichigo instead nodded.

"My sincerest apologies, professor Kuchiki. I was looking for a job and I forgot about the time. It won't happen again."

Professor Kuchiki studied him in silence, his face never giving away any of his emotions until Ichigo started to feel a little jittery. _It felt as if the brunet was dissecting him with his stony black gaze. _He was ready to clear his throat nervously, but the black haired man spoke up.

"You may take a seat now."

Ichigo stumbled on a few bags on his way to his seat, glaring at the students who didn't have any sense of space. Once seated, he sighed, pulling out his notebook and a pen.

It wouldn't have been a couple of minutes before he heard a hushed, "Dude!"

This time, Ichigo rolled his eyes before turning his head at the red haired man next to him. "Not now Renji," he whispered.

Renji Abarai had to be one of the most annoying people in the university, in the entire world even. Surprisingly enough, he was Ichigo's best friend ever since the oranget came to America. Loud, foul mouthed, simple minded were the best things to describe Renji at first but Ichigo knew better; the man was actually very smart, too smart for his own good, loyal, understanding and followed his goals to the very end, something that never ceased to amaze Ichigo.

Right now though, all he wanted was the man to shut the fuck up. No luck though because Renji grinned teasingly at him and cocked his head to the side. "Lookin' for a job is yer new excuse for I didn't-spend-the-night-at-home-but-with-a-hot-red-blooded-male-whom-I-fucked-all-night?"

Seriously, if they weren't in a classroom, Renji would be a hundred shades bruised by now. Okay, it wasn't a secret that Ichigo was gay but he wasn't boasting about his sexuality all over the place, as Renji had the habit of doing.

"Renji, shut up, I'm trying to listen," he said calmly but his short temper was flaring already. Renji must have noticed if the widening of his grin was any indication.

"So," he drawled, "What was his name? Was he cute? Loud? Good at giving head?"

"Renji!" Ichigo said, a little too loudly.

"Is there any problem, Mr. Kurosaki?"

Ichigo jumped. _Aw, crap. _Gulping in fear, Ichigo ignored all the stares from his classmates and cleared his throat. The anatomy professor was in the process of murdering him with just his eyes. _Fuck Kuchiki was so freaking scary some times!_

"No sir," Ichigo muttered.

"Then I would kindly ask you not to interrupt my class any more. Unless you do not wish to be a part of it."

"N-No sir, I understand, I apologize," Ichigo stuttered. Professor Kuchiki turned his attention back at his book, giving Ichigo the opportunity to relax and then glare heatedly at Renji. The red haired man was clasping his hand over his mouth in attempt not to laugh hysterically, his face at the shade of his hair from the effort.

"I hate you," he hissed, only to make the redhead laugh harder.

Fortunately, the rest of the class wasn't as eventful as the first few moments. Ichigo was in the process of kicking Renji at the shin when his anatomy professor approached him silently.

"Mr. Kurosaki," the even voice said, making chills run up and down Ichigo's spine.

_Brrrrrr… Cold._

"Sir."

Kuchiki studied him in silence, his black eyes expressionless as always, but penetrating too. It was at the very least uncomfortable.

"You said previously that you are looking for a job, is that correct?", the raven haired male said, just as a thick silence had settled in the room.

"Yes sir, I do," Ichigo replied earnestly. He was beyond confused by the man's behavior but, on the other hand, he hadn't had something to hide. _Looking for a job wasn't a shame. _

More silence. It felt as if professor Kuchiki was making a desicion in his head, judging whether Ichigo was good or not to carry out some kind of utterly important and secret mission.

"I have a job for you," he said in the end, startling Ichigo. "Are you interested?"

Ichigo had to clear his throat and shake his head before he managed to bring out words from his mouth. _Well, wasn't that unexpected… _"I am sir."

"Well," Kuchiki sighed, "I have a dear friend and colleague who needs a child's keeper. Are you any good with kids, Mr. Kurosaki?"

Ichigo gaped but quickly gathered his wits to reply. "I have two younger sisters, sir, I believe myself to be good with kids."

"Brilliant," the brunet said, a rare spark of emotion in his voice, "I shall e-mail you my colleague's personal information later in the evening. I must leave now, gentlemen, I was called by the hospital."

"Okay," Ichigo said in a state of mild shock. Then suddenly it dawned to him that he had forgotten something. "Ah!", he exclaimed, "Thank you very much, professor Kuchiki."

Kuchiki looked over his shoulder at Ichigo, nodded and before he exited the room, he flashed something closely related to a smirk. Renji and Ichigo exchanged a terrified look before Renji spoke up.

"Dude!", the redhead gasped in shock, "Did he..? Did he just smile?"

"No... I don't think he is capable of smiling," Ichigo said with a confused frown, "His skin would break."

Renji shook his head, unconvinced. "I'm sure man; that had to be a smile."

"I don't know," Ichigo sighed and sat at the edge of Renji's desk. "But what is weirder is that he actually offered me a job…"

"It ain't weird at all," Renji said with a nonchalant shrug, "He likes ya, Ichigo."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and snorted. _What the hell was the redhead talking about? _"He hates me, Renji."

"Nu-uh," Renji disagreed, shaking his head, "He likes you and he likes to challenge you. He knows yer smart and he's tryna pull this intelligence a' yers out."

"You know, when you say things like that, it feels like I'm talking to a different person," Ichigo teased as he reached down for his backpack.

Renji chuckled, rising up from his seat as well. "Why's everybody keep saying that?"

"I don't know, maybe because you're all goofy most of the time and suddenly you come up with something smart. It sounds like a frog speaking Japanese." Ichigo grinned at the fierce scowl that marred Renji's handsome features.

"Fuck you!", yelled the redhead, and Ichigo laughed heartily.

_Ah, he loved his life._

**XXXXX**

"Mail! Mail! Mail! Mail! Mail!"

"Shut the fuck up!", Ichigo yelled at his laptop.

"Mail! Mail! Mail! Mail!", the machine kept prodding.

Growling in agitation, Ichigo put aside his biochemistry notes and made his way to his computer, cursing. _He had forgotten that the motherfucking thing won't shut up until he checked his mail._

Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, Ichigo clicked on the incoming message. _Ah it's from Kuchiki._ Ichigo glanced at the screen clock. _Seven thirty. The man was true to his words when he said "later in the evening"._

He smirked, beyond amused. _Guess that's Kuchiki-sensei for you._

_Mr. Kurosaki, I deeply apologize for my belated electronic mail_, it read. Ichigo couldn't help but roll his eyes and laugh at the man's punctuality.

"Jesus, Kuchiki loosen up, will you?", he said to no one in particular.

_I talked to my friend and she said that she would be delighted to meet you in private, to discuss any further indications. My colleague's name is Emily Jaeguerjaques._

_I have attached her personal phone number and home number at the end of this message._

_Regards,_

_Kuchiki Byakuya._

Ichigo's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. _Jaeg-what? How the hell they pronounce their surname?_ He tried and tried multiple times to say it but his tongue kept getting in the way. He even choked on his saliva once, then laughed his ass off for doing so, then coughed some more but in the end, after at least ten minutes of great effort and sacrifice, he was slightly improving to barely pronounce "Jaeguerjaques".

Anyway, it didn't really matter at this point. The woman wanted a baby sitter, she would have a baby sitter, no hard feelings in that. But what kept nagging Ichigo's mind was what kind of a person was this woman? Was she like Kuchiki? Ichigo chuckled.

"Well, I certainly hope not."

Deeming the time neither too early or nor too late to make a private call, Ichigo searched around his apartment for his cell phone, which by the way had this habit of disappearing when he needed it the most. After a long while of searching, he found it under the kitchen table.

"How the fuck did it get there?", he grumbled and typed the woman's number on the screen. _If he was good at one thing then that had to be memorizing numbers._

Pressing the green button and adjusting the phone to his ear, Ichigo waited. The sound of the impending call dragged out for quite a long time and the orange haired man would have ended the call had not a chirp, female voice answer the phone on the right time.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hello," Ichigo said lamely and a little uncomfortable, "Mrs. Emily Jaeguerjaques?"

"That's me," the woman said joyfully, making Ichigo smile, "How may I assist you?"

"Well, my name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I assume that my professor, Kuchiki Byakuya has told you about me, no?"

There was a moment of silence, but then the woman exclaimed an "Aha!" in triumph. "Yes, yes Byakuya told me that you are looking for a job, right Ichigo? Can I call you Ichigo?"

"Sure."

"Excellent! Ah, so, does it suit you to come by my house tomorrow and discuss the common courtesy stuff, you know something like an interview?"

"Tomorrow is alright, although it has to be after five. I have an important class before," Ichigo stated politely.

"Of course, yes, yes! There is no way I could interfere with your schedule Ichigo, so let's make this at seven thirty, alright?"

He hadn't even met her once and Ichigo already loved this woman. She had something in the tone, something merry and it was definitely passing on to him. "Definitely, I'll be there," he agreed, smiling like an idiot to... No one.

The woman giggled cutely. "Alright then," she said, "It's a date!" Then she added, "You have to excuse me now, Ichigo, I have some business to attend to."

"Of course, madam," Ichigo said, feeling a little bad for spending so much of the woman's time.

"Mah, mah... Just call me Emily," she scolded.

"Can't do, just yet."

The woman hummed in approval, then sighed. "Fair enough. I'll see you tomorrow then. Seven thirty."

"Sharp," Ichigo added, "Thank you for the opportunity."

"Save the 'thank yous' for tomorrow, sweetie."

Ichigo laughed. _Yup, he really liked this woman._ "Will do, my Lady, will do."

**XXXX**

**This was kind short but I promise there is more to come.**

**Thank you for reading and I humbly ask for your (creative) review. **

**- Queen. **


	2. Chapter 2

**So, here's the new chapter! Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters.**

**However, I do own and claim Emily and little Emma. **

**XXXX**

_The next day – Friday._

The Jaeguerjaques household was not very hard to find; although it was a rather normal apartment in a rather normal suburban area, there were not many houses in that particular neighborhood, so it was hard to miss it.

Ichigo was standing outside of the apartment 64, ready to press the doorbell. Well, almost ready. His nerves were gripping him hard enough to stop his limbs from moving. _Why the hell was he so nervous?_ Alright, he needed this job but it wasn't to go nuts over it if he didn't get it in the end. _But how hard was it going to be? The woman didn't ask for an astrophysics major! She asked for a goddamned baby sitter!_

Gathering his balls from the ground, Ichigo took a deep breath, straightened his white, button up shirt, his suit jacket and checked his black slacks for any crease. _Nope, it was all perfect.  
_  
_Come on, Kurosaki,_ he chided, giving a few slaps to his cheeks, _Don't be a pussy, man up!  
_  
Another deep breath followed suit as Ichigo tried hard to gather his wits and finally, he pressed the ominous looking doorbell. The sound echoed inside the house, but other than that there was silence. Ichigo waited and waited, getting more agitated each passing moment, until he heard some soft footsteps from behind the closed door. His nerves woke up again, his heart rate speeding up.

The door opened little by little, only to reveal a small, slate haired girl with big blue eyes looking up at Ichigo with slight fear and awe. Ichigo felt his heart melt and jump out of his chest to hug the adorable little creature staring at him, his previous anxiety long gone and forgotten. He smiled warmly at the toddler. _She wouldn't be more than seven_, Ichigo mused.

"Hello," he said, kneeling down to the girl's eye level, "My name is Ichigo. I came to see your momma, is she here?"

The little girl stared a little more before blushing and nodding, opening the door more for Ichigo to step in. At that point, Ichigo became a little wary; _should he step in or it'd be entirely impolite, let alone creepy, to just walk inside someone else's house like he owned the place?_ Deciding that staying in his current position was the best idea he had so far, Ichigo waited for an adult to come and invite him in. In the meantime, he smiled fondly at the little girl, who was half-hiding, half-peaking behind the door.

"Oh dear!", a voice exclaimed from the spacious looking, black and white decorated living room, "Emma! Haven't I told you a million times to never, ever open the door to strangers?"

Before Ichigo had any time to register what was happening, a female figure appeared on his right, a scowl marring her features. Right then, his heart skipped a beat; even though he was never remotely attracted to females, Ichigo had definitely found his very first girl crush. The woman before him – probably the one and only, Emily Jaeguerjaques – had to be the most outstandingly beautiful woman ever existed. She was tall alright, still a few inches shorter than Ichigo, slim, with pale white skin and long, long dark blue hair that reached her waist.

When stunning blue eyes, the colour matching the little girl's, looked up at him, Ichigo's breath hitched. _Fucking hell, she was gorgeous. _The beautiful angular face before his eyes softened, a small apologetic smile tilted her full lips upwards.

"You are Ichigo, I assume," she said, her voice lacking the previous heat.

Lost, his mouth dry as a desert, Ichigo cleared his throat and shifted his weight on one leg, "Y-Yes…" He offered his hand, "Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Jaeguerjaques."

The woman rolled her eyes at the title but laughed, grasping Ichigo's hand in a nifty handshake, "The pleasure's all mine Ichigo but please, you have to stop calling me anything remotely close to Mrs. or Madam."

Ichigo felt himself smiling unusually broadly. "Very well, but I need some time first, yes?"

"Alright," she agreed, stepping aside and motioning towards the living room, "Please, make yourself at home."

"Excuse the intrusion."

With her on the lead, Ichigo followed suit, his eyes scanning lazily the fashionably decorated apartment. The place was large but it was homely and nicely decorated. It smelled nice too, like some kind of fresh baked cookies. Ichigo's gut instantly warmed up.

He was lost in his musings until his host's voice woke him up.

"Please sit," she said, indicating the white love seat. Once Ichigo was seated, she took a seat right opposite him.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Ah, no, thank you. I am good."

"So, Ichigo," she began, crossing her hands over her chest, "I understand that you need this job but there are some issues we need to discuss."

"I'm listening," Ichigo said in a conversational tone. _Straight to the point. Ichigo liked people who didn't beat around the bush._

Emily Jaeguerjaques crossed her legs, her blue eyes soft but her attitude serious. "I don't know if Byakuya told you but I am a doctor too, like he is. This means that my schedule is a little... Busy."

"It's only natural."

She nodded curtly. "I'm glad you understand. So what I want to say is that sometimes, you'll have to stay here late, later than you'd normally have to."

Ichigo shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. "It is fine, really."

Emily quirked one eyebrow, "Are you sure? Don't you have to study or anything?"

"Sure do, ma'am, but I can always study here."

At that, the woman nodded again, her eyes leaving Ichigo's and focusing on the side. A breathtaking smile crawled on her already exquisite face. Feeling a little dizzier than before, Ichigo followed her gaze, his eyes landing on the, until now forgotten, little girl who had opened the door before. She was hiding behind a wall, peaking carefully but nonetheless curiously at Ichigo.

"Emma," Emily Jaeguerjaques called, "Come to meet Ichigo."

At her mother's calling, little Emma emerged from her hiding place, walking timidly up to her mother who in turn immediately embraced her. Ichigo smiled as a pair of watery blue eyes examined him from head to toe. _She was so fucking cute._

"I believe you've met already," Emily said after a moment of silence. Then she turned to her daughter, nudging her gently on the shoulder, "Come one Emma, say hello."

The little girl took a step closer to Ichigo and smiled shyly, reaching out with a tiny little hand. The orange haired man felt temped to croon loudly and pull her into a hug when with her timid, childish voice she uttered, "Hello, I am Emma."

Ichigo smiled, taking hold of the girl's hand, shaking it gently. "Nice to meet you Emma. I'm Ichigo."

"Do you like bears?", the little girl suddenly asked. _The lil' one didn't beat around the bush either. How adorable was that?_

"Hmm," he hummed, pretending to be seriously thinking about the question.

"It depends," he finally said, "What kind of bear?"

Little Emma gave him a cutely baffled look at which Ichigo wanted to laugh heartily but chose not to.

"What do you mean?"

"There are many types of bears," said Ichigo with a mock-serious, teacher-ish tone.

Blue eyes widened in shock. "Really?"

"You didn't know?"

"No…", the toddler mumbled sulkily, looking down at her feet in consideration. Ichigo was about to open his mouth to speak, to comfort her that it wasn't that much of a deal when blue eyes looked up to him, stern and serious.

"Will you teach me?"

An orange eyebrow reached an equally orange hairline, "Teach you what?"

"About bears!", she said as a matter of factly, making Ichigo chuckle. "I love bears! They are big and fluffy and you can cuddle with them, wait I will go to bring my own!" With that, the little girl was running to what had to be her bedroom, vanishing behind a wooden door. Ichigo followed her with his gaze, smiling the whole time without realizing it.

"So, you are good with kids."

Emily's voice startled him as it came out of nowhere, but he didn't show it. He instead nodded. "I have two younger twin sisters. It comes naturally to me."

"They are back at your home country?"

"Yup."

"Oh," she gasped, her eyes widening, "How rude of me. I didn't even ask you; where are you from?"

"It's cool. I'm from Japan."

Her eyes widened again. "Japan?! No way! You don't look Japanese at all!"

"I've been hearing that a lot lately," Ichigo chuckled before a small blur of blue appeared on his side, a small hand clutching his suit jacket and pulling. Little Emma seemed in desperate need for some attention, jumping and waving a white teddy bear in front of Ichigo's face.

"Ichugo, Ichugo, lookie, lookie, it's my bear, Martin!", she exclaimed lively.

_Ichugo?_, Ichigo thought in amusement then mentally shrugged. _It doesn't matter if it comes from little Emma._

Ichigo took the stuffed animal from her hands in his own and examined it, faking a serious face. "Ah," he concluded, "This is a polar bear." He handed the teddy bear back to the little girl who was now looking him in awe, big blue eyes wide as saucers.

_Christ, she was so freakishly cute!_

"A polar bear?" Emma looked down at her toy, then her head snapped up at Ichigo, her blue eyes reflecting her yearning for more knowledge, "Where do they live, what do they eat?"

"They are usually in the Arctic Cicle," Ichigo said, his professor mode switched on. Absently he pulled the little girl in his arms, lifting her up and settling her on his lap, just like he did with his little sisters. Then he continued, "They like the cold weathers, not so much the sun and they eat fish they find in the sea."

At the stunned eyes alternating between him and the polar bear stuffed toy in her lap, Ichigo dared to chuckle. However the little girl frowned. "Don't they get cold?"

"Nope," Ichigo corrected, "They have all this fur on their skin which is basically their blanket for the cold weather."

"I see," the blue haired girl muttered. "I am glad!"

The smile little Emma flashed after she finished her statement had Ichigo's heart stirring in his chest. Sudden nostalgia overwhelmed him as this little girl reminded him a lot of his baby sister Yuzu and how much he missed her. And Karin of course, though Karin was more of a tomboy than anything else and she never smiled as much as Yuzu did.

_Not after their mother died._

Ichigo shook his head, shaking the feeling of the heart-ripping grief that filled him to the brim every time he thought or spoke about his mother. He looked down at the large blue eyes staring at him, the concern as evident as oil in a glass full of water.

"Are you okay, Ichugo?"

The oranget smiled, petting her shoulder length blue hair. "I'm okay. You remind me of my little sister whom I miss very much."

"I'm sure she misses you too," Emma said in a serious, almost in an adult manner before giggling and squirming in his lap. "Momma, momma! Can I watch SpongeBob on the telly? Please, please, please!"

Emily Jaeguerjaques, who had kept quiet during the conversation with little Emma, smiled sweetly at her daughter. "Honey, I need to speak with Ichigo a bit more. Could you please go to your room and play? You can watch SpongeBob later."

The blue haired toddler huffed petulantly. "Okay." Then she turned to Ichigo and smiled. "See you later, Ichugo!", said she and ran off.

"She sure is lively. How old is she?" Ichigo said between chuckles as he watched Emma's retreating back.

Emily laughed. "Five and I can tell she likes you already. I'm impressed."

Ichigo gave a very anime-like, "Eh?"

"Emma does not open up to people, let alone show them her teddy bear from the first meeting," the woman said, her smile cryptic, somehow mischievous. "She likes you a lot and I trust her judgment as a kid. You're hired."

As much as he wanted to jump up and yell, "YOSHAA!", Ichigo remained seated but smiled, showing off a perfect layer of stark white teeth. _Wasn't very wise to act uncool in front of your new boss. _

Before he had the chance to say "Thank you", Emily Jaeguerjaques spoke up again.

"… Which means that I have to let you know about a thing or two." Her face was all serious all of a sudden, cold even, which made Ichigo cringe. _Damn, she was just as scary as Kuchiki, if not more, when she looked at him like that!  
_  
"I'd really appreciate it," she continued, enunciating every word carefully, "If, whatever you see or listen in this apartment, you keep it confidential."

_Huh? _"That goes without saying," Ichigo assured, however he was left a little bit confused.

"Secondly," she added after a curt nod, "If it gets late and I am not back from work yet – which I would have let you know in advance – I would like you to cook. Do you know how to cook?"

Ichigo wanted to pull at his hair. _He did know how to cook but his cooking sucked nads._ "I can, but just the basics."

"Basics are fine," Emily said, a small smile breaking through the stiffness of her face. "I would like you to cook some food and place it in front of the door at the end of the hall. You can not see it from where you're seated but I'll show you when I give you a tour of the house."

Ichigo nodded in agreement but his thoughts were running ten miles per second. _What the hell was there inside that room that had to be fed separately? Some kind of wild animal?_

That was so, so weird. But don't they say that all households have their secrets?

"I understand."

"Good," Emily said, clapping her hands, "Now let's give you a tour!"

**XXXX**

The apartment, although relatively spacious, it was small, cozy. Perfect for a family of three. To Ichigo's uttermost surprise, Emily Jaeguerjaques was not married.

"I haven't made all the right choices in my life," she said, sadness and disappointment crystal clear in her expressive blue eyes, "But I've gained many other good things so it is balanced."

Ichigo did not say anything, uncomfortable at the very least. Wordless, they continued their tour until they reached _that_ room at the end of the hallway. Emily turned to the oranget, her eyes serious and Ichigo noticed her body stiffen. _Just what on earth was she hiding in there?!_ Ichigo couldn't help but wonder and be a little afraid of the answer.

"So," she said quietly, "This is the room I've been talking to you about…"

"Yes," Ichigo mumbled.

"This is my son's room," she said with a sigh.

_Son?_ "Son?" He actually said it out loud.

She glanced at the door nervously. "Yeah… He is a little… Special." She stayed silent for a long while, staring down at her feet uncomfortably. Ichigo didn't know what to say. On one hand he was relieved to hear that there wasn't something scary at the other side of the door but the expression his boss's face was unnerving him.

He also didn't want to pry, so asking for further explanations was out of question.

In the end Emily looked up, a forced smile on her face. "Just for your own good, don't go in there unless it is a terrible emergency. He hates it when other people invade his personal space."

Ichigo nodded but remained silent. What was he supposed to say anyway? The way Emily Jaeguerjaques raised her kids was her own damn business.

"Okay!", she chirped, clearly more relieved now that she got this out of her system, "Would you like to start working here from tomorrow?"

"I'd be glad to," Ichigo responded, pushing the unnerving sensation of danger at the back of his mind temporarily. Emily grinned.

"Good, good," she mumbled, "So, tomorrow and everyday at six thirty, except Sundays, when you won't have to come. Unless something happens or I give you the day off."

"Sounds like a date to me!", Ichigo said, winking saucily, making the woman laugh heartily.

"You're too young for me, Ichigo," she said with a shake of her head.

They walked together towards the front door and Ichigo started putting his shoes back on. _He still had this Japanese habit of taking his shoes of once he entered a house._ Emily was observing him in silence and, making the orange haired man quirk an eyebrow.

"Is there something wrong?", he asked.

"You are really beautiful," she said, smiling broadly. "I bet your girlfriend is really possessive of you, no?"

Ichigo blushed profusely at the unexpected complement and bit his lower lip. He was a little worried about revealing his sexuality to his boss since there was always a risk of getting fired, however his gut was telling him there was nothing to worry about. Straightening up, he faced Emily and swallowed.

"A-Actually," he stuttered, "I'm gay. I hope it doesn't matter to you."

The blue haired woman blinked and stared and then blinked some more. Ichigo was about to start sweating when suddenly a big, sort of evil grin split her face into two.

That made Ichigo even more nervous.

"Oh I see," Emily said, "My bad; your boyfriend then.'

"I'm single…" _Ichigo seriously, what the hell!? Keep some things to yourself, will ya?_

Her grin widened – if that was possible – and tapped her index finger on her chin. "Don't freak out Ichigo, it's just that I have a weak spot on gays."

Ichigo wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He was glad that his boss wasn't a homophobic cunt but that look of the crazy yaoi fangirl on her face scared him, to say at the very least. Smiling seemed more appropriate that bawling his eyes out – besides, he was a man, he didn't do crying – so he grinned at the blue haired woman.

"That is a relief to hear," he said, "Now you must excuse me, I don't want to impose on you any longer."

Emily laughed. "Yes, yes, go out and celebrate your new job. Have a tequila shot for me too," she said, winking playfully at him while opening the front door.

_Okay that was weird but not bad weird. Just... Unexpected, yeah, unexpected was closer to the truth. Emily Jaeguerjaques had to be the coolest boss in the history of bosses and he was more than just glad he was the woman's employee after all._ Ichigo walked his way outside of the house but before he left for the night, he turned around for a farewell.

"Will do, Mrs Jaeguerjaques. I will see you tomorrow at six."

"Pleasure to do business with you, Mr Kurosaki."

As soon as the door of apartment 64 was closed shut, Ichigo fished his cell phone from his ass pocket. He already had an unread text from Renji.

_Nosy fucker._

_How did it go?_, it read.

Ichigo smirked, climbing down the stairs to the lobby. He typed quickly back to his friend.

_Got the job._

His phone buzzed once he had taken his seat on the bus.

_Gotta celebrate. Meet me at Soul Society, ten o' clock and be pretty.  
_  
Just what Ichigo needed and just as his new boss had ordered. Still smirking at his phone, Ichigo typed back, _I'm always pretty._

_Fag_, Renji replied after a few minutes. Ichigo laughed loudly, making a few heads turn to look at him in confusion but he ignored them.

_The pot callin' the kettle black. _

**XXXX**

**Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Can I have a review please? **

**- Queen.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh, time for an update. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. **

**However, I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**XXXX**

_The next morning.  
_  
A night out with Renji always ensured having a great time but on the other hand, it ensued to memory loss and the worst ass-biting hangover the following morning. The redhead had a weak spot for alcohol and he urged Ichigo to drink with him because he claimed he didn't want to drink alone. Ichigo, being a nice person and all, he couldn't really deny his best friend anything and spoil their fun, so he would join Renji in his drinking feast, for as long as his systems could handle.

_Last night, however, Renji took it into a whole other level. _Ichigo was positive that, after a certain point, the amount of alcohol circulating in his body had reached beyond Mountain Everest._ Shit, he had to work with a headache today!_

Speaking of which, the very first rays of sunlight that managed to pass through the closed curtains were the only thing to wake Ichigo up. Blinking in and out of consciousness Ichigo stirred then groaned a curse at the throbbing of his temples. _He positively felt as if his head had been run over by a train. Repeatedly._

Next thing he registered was that he was flat on his stomach, his face buried in something fluffy and soft; a pillow probably. Brown eyes tiredly slid open and blinked a lot of times before Ichigo realized where he was. _Thank God he was in his room and not some place else_.

_But what the hell was pinning him down to the bed?_

Even though he was rather reluctant to move in favor of not upsetting the headache, Ichigo still craned his head to his side to take a quick glance at his surroundings. _Just a check up_ _before he went back to sleep_, he promised himself. However, at the sight of long red hair splayed all over the mattress next to him, both his eyes and mouth fell open.

"What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?", Ichigo whispered urgently as he watched his best friend, Renji, cuddling closer to him, digging a rather impressive morning wood into Ichigo's hip.

If it wasn't Renji then Ichigo would have probably reached down and grasped that needy member and give it what it wanted. Unfortunately, it _was_ Renji, so that'd be something more than just... Gross.

Best friends didn't do each other. It was a rule.

All alarms went off in the oranget's head and he tried, unsuccessfully, to shake the sleeping redhead off his back. In his panic, Ichigo managed to notice that both of them were still wearing their boxers. He immediately relaxed a little; that was a good sign.

"Oi," he rasped, his voice still harsh from sleep, "Get off of me."

Renji stirred but remained very much asleep. Ichigo rolled his eyes, flinching at the pain it inflicted on his head but he tried again.

"Wake up, you stupid monkey!", Ichigo said louder, wiggling in Renji's grasp to get his urgent point across.

"Stop fuckin' movin', asshole.", Renji rumbled threateningly.

Ichigo growled in agitation. "Get the fuck off of me, Renji. Seriously."

The redhead let out an unintelligible string of curses and rolled on his back, throwing his thick corded and tattooed arm over his eyes. "Fuckin' asshole," he mumbled.

Normally, Ichigo would try and choke his friend with the pillow for calling him an asshole but right now, his mind was elsewhere.

"Renji, did we fuck?"

The body beside Ichigo froze, Renji's tattooed arm leaving his face and terrified russet eyes found Ichigo's equally scared brown ones.

"I don't remember," the redhead mumbled, after a while of reflecting silence.

"Me neither."

"Ah. That'd be gross, man!", Renji groaned. Glancing at Ichigo in an almost shy manner, he then corrected, "Not that ya ain't attractive n' all, jus' that..."

"Yeah, I know idiot," Ichigo sighed and rubbed both hands over his face. Then something dawned to him. "Hey Renji."

"What?"

"Do you feel sore anywhere?"

Renji sluggishly wiggled his body around, tattooed eyebrows pulled together in either agitation or consideration, Ichigo couldn't tell. Though, when he stopped moving, he shook his head negatively.

"No man, I'm good. You?"

"I'm good too. If we'd fucked, then we'd probably be sore somewhere, right?"

Renji sighed, rubbing his large hand over his face. "Yeah."

"So," Ichigo licked his lips nervously, "We're... We're, like, cool, yeah?"

The redhead gave him a long, worried stare that spoke numbers of how "cool" they were. _Aw fuck, that didn't seem gohimation all..._

"Yeah..."

Things became sort awkward after that. True, there was no hard evidence of any sexual intercourse between them but on the other hand there were no evidence that there was no any intercourse at all.

Both males had their breakfast in silence, crunching listlessly on their cereal, not even daring to look at each other. They took showers in turns, dressed up and when finally Renji made it to the door to leave, he twirled around abruptly, startling the hell out of Ichigo.

"Look," Renji barked, "Since we don't remember anythin', then nothin' happened right?"

Ichigo scratched the back of his head and glanced down at his feet. "I suppose."

"Ichigo, yer my best pal, I ain't gonna like it if things get weird between us."

Ichigo looked up at his friend and chuckled at the blushing face that came into view. _Look at the eyes of hope... _Even though it felt seriously messed up, Ichigo would rather cut his right hand off than lose a friend like Renji.

Pushing all the awkward and negative thoughts he had all morning at the back of his head, Ichigo managed a smooth, "We're cool Renji."

The redhead blinked, taking in Ichigo's words and then he grinned. "Sweet. Oh, and good luck on yer new job, rookie."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Ichigo said dismissively, pushing his best friend out of his apartment, "Leave now, I need to get ready."

"Tsk, such a good host," Renji muttered sarcastically. The two stared at each other and simultaneously cracked their signature grins, the previous events long gone and forgotten. For now at least.

"So," Renji started, "Will ya come by my place tamorrow ta review the nerve tracts and pathways?" _Wow, nerd Renji mode was suddenly switched on.  
_  
Ichigo shook his head in thought. "I don't know Renji. Isn't it too early to study neuroanatomy? We're gonna do this shit in April."

The redhead rolled his eyes and snorted. "Which is one month away! C'mon Ichigo, we're just reviewin'."

"Fine, fine."

"Maybe we can go through the sense organs too," the redhead added.

Ichigo smirked at his friend, his inner teasing demon waking up. "Sometimes I feel like you've a crush on professor Kuchiki and you just want to impress him."

"Whaaaaaaaat?", Renji groaned, quirking his tattooed eyebrow, "Who's gonna like this stuck up prick?"

"Maybe someone, someday," Ichigo replied between chuckles.

"Yer too optimistic," said Renji while putting his shoes on. It was quite surspizing that last night, in their drunken haze, they had neatly placed their shoes by the front door. "Who'd wanna date a fuckin' frozen bag of peas?"

Ichigo busted out laughing at that. Renji's mean sense of humor always gave him great laughs. _The man was a fucking comedian sometimes._

"You're just jealous he is so much smarter than you and plus, he is doing what you want to do, aka being a doctor," Ichigo corrected smugly.

"Yeah, whatever," the redhead mumbled, standing up and reaching for the door. "Gotta go, princess, I'll see ya later. Text me when ya get off work."

"Sure, cupcake, take care," Ichigo smiled and closed the door at his friend's back.

All alone all of a sudden, Ichigo let out a sigh of relief, rubbing his hand over his face and massaged his still throbbing temples. _He had to take a few Tylenols before going to the Jaeguerjaques's otherwise he wouldn't be able to make it through._

Searching for his phone - which had disappeared again - Ichigo packed his bag for the night, taking a few biochemistry notes with him and his pocket anatomy atlas, as well as a small book he had about bears to read with little Emma. _He'd really thought he'd thrown it away but thankfully he was wrong.  
_  
Ichigo glanced at the clock, noticing that he still had a couple of hours before six thirty. Not really in the mood to study, he just lay on his bed and in a few minutes he was out like a light.

**XXXX**

"A grizzly bear?"

"Yup," Ichigo nodded at the wide eyed face staring at him full of wonder, "It is a big bear, that lives in North America and it is close cousins with the brown bear."

Emma looked at the picture of the large grizzly on the book. "So Ichi, what do they eat?"

Ichigo chuckled. This little girl was so willing, so thirsty for new knowledge it was fascinating. "Just like most of them, they eat fish, salmons."

The blue haired girl, looked at the pictures, alternating between the pages, memorizing them, then looked up to Ichigo. "Which's your favorite?"

Ichigo shrugged. "I don't know, which one is yours?"

"Polar bears," she said sternly, "I like their fur. But I-I like the others, I mean, they are all cute but-but," she whined a little, squirming indecisively in her seat, which only made Ichigo laugh.

"Don't laugh!", she scolded, "I don't know which one to pick!"

"Why don't you just like them all?"

Emma stopped her rambling and stared at Ichigo. "Wouldn't that be selfish?"

"Why, sweetie?", Ichigo asked, genuinely impressed and interested in the little girl's logic. _He was leaning towards "impressed", to be honest._ Not only she was cute, she was also pretty smart for her age.

"Because," Emma explained, "If you ask for too many things, then there won't be any left for others."

Ichigo stared at the little girl in awe; her words not only had stirred and touched his heart deeply but also made him realize just how selfless she was. Usually, kids her age were all about getting more toys, getting more and more in general but this one, no. She was concerned about others not having any. Ichigo couldn't help neither the smile that spread on his face nor the tight hug he pulled the little girl in.

"You're so smart and mature for your age," he said after they pulled away. Emma smiled shyly at him.

"I like you Ichi," she said, "You're like a big brother."

Ichigo laughed, "I have two younger sisters, so yeah, I am a big brother."

"Eeeeh? Really?", the little girl exclaimed, jumping up and down on the couch, finally landing on her knees. "What're their names? Where do they live? Are they here in America?"

Ichigo laughed at the sudden bombard of questions. "Their names are Yuzu and Karin and they live in Japan. I see them only twice a year and I miss them very much."

"Mmm," the little girl hummed and looked down at her lap. Before she did though, Ichigo managed to take a short glimpse of pain and hurt reflected into her blue eyes. He frowned.

"What's wrong, Emma?"

Little Emma squirmed a little and bit her lower lip and finally, she looked up at Ichigo. In his utter astonishment, her ocean blue eyes were watery, her lower lip trembling.

"Emma!", the orange haired man exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her small frame, "Why are you crying?"

_Shit! What had he said to make her cry?! Daaamn!_

"I wish my brother loved me too, just like you love your sisters," she mumbled in a broken voice, making Ichigo's heart clench painfully in his chest. He hugged the girl tighter.

_Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!_

"I don't believe that your brother doesn't love you," he whispered comfortingly, not knowing what else to say or do.

"He doesn't!", Emma insisted, "He doesn't love neither me nor mom!" The little girl was crying louder now, "He never comes out-out of his room and wh-when he does, he-he is always cold and-and he never speaks to me!"

Ichigo was negatively surprised at the how things had developed, cursing his damn mouth for speaking about his little sisters so much. He embraced the little girl some more, soothingly rubbing her back and her short hair, feeling the subtle trembling of her fragile body and the repetitive hiccups. _Darn it; that really broke his whole fucking heart._

"Shh," he crooned, "Maybe your brother is just uncomfortable with showing his feelings."

Emma pulled away and Ichigo was nearly brought to tears when those watery, red rimmed blue eyes locked with his. "Y-Y-You really think s-so?", she stuttered.

"Yes, I do," he said, forcing a smile on his face, "There is no way that your big brother doesn't love you." Ichigo gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, cradling her face into his hands. "Do you know why big brothers are always born first, Emma?"

"Why?", she asked, rubbing her eye.

"To protect the little ones that come after them."

When Emma cracked a small smile, Ichigo knew that his job of patching up this little girl's wounds was temporarily done. He smiled back at her, kissing her forehead lovingly.

Suddenly an idea crossed his mind.

"Wanna watch Spongebob? I heard they have new episodes airing tonight," he said and smiled at the wide, expectant eyes that took the place of the broken, watery ones.

"Really?", Emma squeaked, "Let's watch it, let's watch it!"

Mission of distracting Emma's attention from anything painful; completed.

**XXXX**

Later that night, at the safety of his own house, Ichigo let his thoughts wander and twirl around the events that took place earlier in the evening.

_My brother doesn't love me_, Emma's broken voice kept echoing in his head, depriving him from his sleep. _He doesn't even speak to me! _Ichigo rolled on his side, groaning. Those hurt blue eyes would haunt him forever. He just knew it.

"What a shitty old brother," he mumbled to no one in particular and closed his eyes, forcing himself to sleep for the umpteen time that night. Didn't work as fast as it would normally have but after half an hour or so Ichigo's breathing was evening out, his mind full of watery blue eyes. Before he lost consciousness, something popped fleetingly in his slumbering mind.

_My son... He is a little special..._

**XXXX**

**Ouch. And here, ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful cover begins to unwrap.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it!**

**Can I have a review now, please?**

**- Queen.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter four. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters.**

**However, I do own and claim Emily and Emma. **

**XXXX**

_What a busy week that was.  
_  
Saturday night and Ichigo was laying on top of his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He was positively brain dead from exhaustion.

He'd known that it'd be challenging to juggle around with both school and work but he hadn't even dared to think it'd be _that _bad.

Let us backtrack a little, ne?

After that eventful night on Saturday, Ichigo wasn't exactly able to sleep and if he did sleep, it'd be fitful. Sunday was one hell of a nightmare as well; Renji's inner nerd had gone all out on him, spitting information about motor and sensory pathways until Ichigo's head nearly damn exploded. They even refreshed their memories on the peripheral nervous system and all the rest of information that comes after it.

Renji was such a freak sometimes, it scared Ichigo to death.

He shouldn't be whining though, because now, both of them were ready for Kuchiki's oral pop quizzes that were meant to come in the near future.

All he had to do now was to study for his biochemistry exam on the upcoming Thursday. _Not something to worry about_, he thought to himself, _I already know the seventy five percent of the material._

Anyway, in university terms, Monday to Friday was okay, the usual boring or interesting stuff, the usual conversations, the usual timetable. However, when it came to Ichigo's new job, it was always a surprise.

First and foremost, Ichigo came to realize how lively Emma actually was. That girl had to be drinking energy drinks all day, there was no other explanation; from the moment Ichigo arrived at six thirty until the moment he put her in bed at nine, she was all over the place, running, shouting, giggling. After some point it was insufferable but she was so adorable Ichigo couldn't be mad at her.

Let's just take Friday for example;

"Ichi, Ichi!", she yelled the moment he had arrived and was at the process of taking his shoes off, "Comie, comie, let's play Monopoly!"

So they played monopoly for the longest of twenty minutes before she was jumping on the couches and laughing merrily. Ichigo laughed with her but he tried to calm her down.

"Emma, come on, stop jumping, you'll break the couch."

She scowled and put her hands on her waist, the sight so comical that Ichigo had to chuckle.

"You're just jealous that _I_ can and you-"

Emma stopped her speech in the middle, the scowl fading from her face, her ears perking up as if she was trying to listen to something. Ichigo quirked an eyebrow.

"Emma, what's-" and before he could finish his question, a brisk, electric guitar riff reached his ears. He glanced at Emma and saw her jumping off the couch and running towards the hall. On his feet a few seconds later, Ichigo followed her suit.

What he faced made his heart skip a beat in his chest, his mind traveling back at Emma's breakdown the previous Saturday. The little blue haired girl was sitting in front of her brother's room door, hugging her knees, her small head leaning on the closed wooden door, a small smile on her face.

If Ichigo was a girl, he would definitely be at the verge of tears from the sweet sight enveloping before his eyes. Instead, he silently sat next to the little girl in the same fashion, hugging his knees to his chest and listened to the sweet music that had changed to something softer, tenderer. Ichigo recognized the song, as it was one of his favorites.

_Sweet child o' mine, by Guns and Roses._

There were no lyrics accompanying the music but it was simply perfect. That shitty brother was a talented musician at least.

"It's my brother playing," Emma said after a while, her voice full of pride. "He is so good."

Ichigo nodded, smiling at her gentle innocence but inside his head was thinking the worst about this boy, man or whatever he was. Was he so freaking insensitive or blind that he didn't care about his little sister and didn't acknowledge her? Ichigo didn't know but if it was in his hand, he'd beat that lame excuse of a brother into a bleeding pulp.

_Deep breaths, deep breaths_, Ichigo kept reminding himself so that he wouldn't loose his short temper. _Shitty old brother!_

Suddenly the music changed again, the sweetness replaced by something more intense and it took some time for Ichigo to realize that the song was "Ain't talking about love" from Van Hallen. Wow, the kid did know how to play some nice songs alright.

"Do you like it?", Emma suddenly asked, pulling Ichigo out of his musings. He nodded.

"Yeah, he is pretty cool."

"Momma says he is... Uh... Self-taught?", she questioned her own statement, tapping her finger on her chin. _It was really hysterical how much this little girl took after her mother, even at simple actions like tapping her chin._ "She says he has good music ear. I don't know what this means but I know that my brother's ears are normal!"

Ichigo laughed heartily at that, earning an agitated scowl from the little girl. "Hey! Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologized between chuckles, "But what you said was funny; having a music ear doesn't mean that there is something wrong with his ears it's just that it is easier for him to make up a melody than in normal people."

Azure eyes widened in understanding and Emma flashed a bright smile. "I knew that my brother is special!", she said standing up, "He has a music ear! He is so fantastic! I'm going to tell Martin!"

And with that, she was off to her room to find her teddy bear. Ichigo watched her retreating back, his heart clouding as he kept listening to the music from the other side of the door.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," he muttered to the brother, not expecting for him to hear it, but he said it anyway. _How could someone be so heartless, Ichigo couldn't understand. Emma was practically melting for her brother's sake yet he..._ Ichigo clenched his fists and stood up. _It was none of his business, yet still, all this morose, high and mighty attitude hurt the lovely little creature. Because Emma was lovely, pure, untarnished._

"Ichi, Ichi!", Emma yelled from the living room, "Come here, Fairly Odd Parents is starting! Quickly!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!", Ichigo shouted back but before he left, he glared heatedly at the closed door, the music behind it gone by now.

_Shitty big brother._

**XXXX**

The buzzing of his cell phone was what brought Ichigo back from his personal flashback. Reaching for the bedside table, where he would usually abandon the stupid machine, he opened the message. It was from Renji. Again.

_Yo, man_, it read, _Hirako and Shuuhei've been pesterin' 'bout ya comin' to that new gay bar that opened near the uni. You, tonight, ten thirty pm._

Ichigo groaned and hit the reply button. _I'm not coming. I'm exhausted_.

The device buzzed again before he even placed it back on its previous spot.

_No ain't an option.  
_  
This time, agitated as fuck, Ichigo pressed the call button. He was too lazy and too tired to write a piece of his mind in a text message. Renji picked up almost immediately.

"Before ya start yellin' at me, I promise it'll be my treat," was Renji's greeting instead of a normal "hello". Ichigo rolled his eyes and snorted.

"You have to understand that I'm tired."

"Yeah but ya've ta understand that I can't fuckin' stand Hirako fer more than fifteen minutes! Yer the only one ta put up wit' him!"

Ichigo blinked at the ceiling before sighing. "True."

"Ichigo please," Renji begged, the desperation in his voice made Ichigo give in with a defeated sigh.

"Alright," he said, chuckling and pulling the phone away from his ear when Renji cheered rather loudly, "But I swear I'm not having more than two drinks."

Renji snorted. "Tell that to Hirako."

"Shinji will understand," Ichigo argued in favor of his loud, flamboyant gay friend, who always seem to be Renji's teasing target, "You should do that too. I remind you we have biochemistry exam on Thursday."

"Fuuuuuuck," Renji groaned, "I'd fergotten 'bout that one. And professor Aporro is such a fuckin' spaz."

Ichigo laughed. He couldn't agree more on how obnoxious and weird, let alone strict, was their pink-haired biochemistry professor, Szayel Aporro. "Yeah, so you need to pass his tests so that he won't torture you."

"Yeah, yeah," the redhead muttered petulantly, "Nerd."

"That should be my line," Ichigo retorted.

"Yer an asshole."

"You're a bigger one."

"Eat yer pants."

"Go fuck yourself on a dildo."

Renji was silent for a long while but Ichigo could practically hear the redhead's lips stretch into a smile.

"Yer a fuckin' weirdo, you know that?"

"I know and I'm fucking proud of it," Ichigo agreed with a smile on his face as well, "Now end the damn call, I don't like wasting my money on you."

"How fuckin' polite," Renji said sarcastically, "I wonder why I still hang out with ya."

"Because I'm awesome," Ichigo teased, only to receive an indignant snort.

"See ya there asshole," Renji said before the line went dead. Still smiling sadistically, Ichigo tossed his phone on the bed as he stood up. Heading towards the shower, he took off his clothes, folded them and placed them neatly beside the sink and sooner or later sunk deep under the hot water.

_A night out would take his mind off of things Emma related.  
_  
Yup. Definitely something to look forward to.

**XXXX**

_"You should be ashamed of yourself."_

He heard that. It had to be a week ago but it still echoed in his mind.

He chuckled, but with no humor. It wasn't that he didn't know it but he wasn't sure if the baby sitter meant it the way he did.

Glancing down at his guitar, he tenderly caressed the neck, then the body, unplugging it from the amp.

Thank God he had music; otherwise he'd be ten times dead already.

Gently, he placed the musical instrument inside its case and closed the lid. He was tired.

Tired of doing nothing.

Why was it so difficult? Why was it so difficult to be strong?

How could he become stronger? Five years of isolation, of effort, of pain... but still no answer.

No fucking answer...

_Heh, mom thinks I'm depressed. I wish it was that fucking easy. If I was depressed, then it would explain why I am... what I am._

_Helpless, hopeless, useless. _

_At least I am good looking. _

He lay down, lit a cigarette. Dragged a long pull. Exhaled noisily.

Silence.

_Mom would flip out if she knew I was smoking_, he thought to himself then crumbled the cigarette in his palm.

It burnt. It hurt.

But it didn't matter. He deserved this.

_You should be ashamed of yourself._

He was. He couldn't protect. He was useless.

He sighed.

_Useless._

_I'm sorry mommy. I am sorry I couldn't protect you._

_It was my fault._

_Please don't cry. _

Switching the light on the bedside table off, he closed his eyes, swiftly slipping in his own, wide awake slumber.

_Good night, sleep tight._

_Don't let the dead bite..._

**XXXX**

**The last two sentences, I took them from a song called, "Dead Bite" written and preformed as such by Hollywood Undead. I claim no copyright.**

**Uwah... He definitely sounds depressed to me.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**- Queen. **


	5. Chapter 5

**So, I had this devilish idea popping in my head a few days ago and I thought I'd add it in the plot. I love Byakuya and I want to explore and reshape his unique character. I can't help it but give him some of the spotlight, yes? I hope you don't mind. **

**Anyway, chapter five is ready. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. **

**However I do own and claim Emily and Emma. **

**XXXX**

_Saturday evening._

_Eight twenty eight.  
_  
Byakuya glanced at his watch impatiently, feeling anxious to see her again. It'd been two days since the last time they were able to see each other and have a proper conversation.

_It was too much for him. _

Byakuya Kuchiki always gave the impression of the stoic, emotionless man in his mid thirties and, indeed he was. Emotions were not necessary, if not a hindrance in his field of study, in his career. Being an oncologist and general surgeon, as well as a university professor, required a strong stomach and sturdy nerves.

He had both.

He didn't feel any excitement about his job any more. He had lost it after so many years of being a doctor and facing the same thing every single day. Death and sadness were a part of him, as depressing as that sounded. The sentiments he experienced were limited to one or two, his defenses way too high and strong to allow anything in.

However, there was one exception, one simple exception that went right through his defenses, breaking his hard shell, and making his heart skirt and tremble like a teenager's.

_Emily Jaeguerjaques.  
_  
They were childhood friends. There were no moments in Byakuya's precious memory bank that did not involve the elegant, always smiling, blue haired woman. Ever since he could distinguish the difference between male and female, he could tell that he loved the girl with all his heart. It was pure and simple, a boy loving and admiring his best friend.

During adolescence however, things changed. Something more, something more intense started to happen; Byakuya would notice how her clothes hugged her curvy body, how her nipples could be seen through her shirt, how red her lips were, his desires building up and up and up...

He never confessed his feelings though. Fear, apprehension, pride… He didn't know, he couldn't decide. He could never bring himself to let his guards completely down and give her access to do whatever she wished to his heart.

Or maybe he was just afraid that if he told her, it would end their current relationship.

_He couldn't even picture his life without her.  
_  
However, Byakuya was the one to stand by her side when those bad excuses of men stepped over her heart, two of them left her pregnant and alone, emotionally dry. He'd seen her broken more than just one time.

_Heart-wrenching. The worst part of it was that he wasn't able to prevent it from happening.  
_  
After these events, Emily changed; she held him dear, closer, she depended on him like a newborn child depended on its mother. That was all he needed. She loved him, he knew it, just not the way he loved her.

It didn't matter though. Kuchiki Byakuya was a proud man; he could live without romance.

_Eight thirty._

_It was time._

Byakuya stood up from his desk and made his way to his office's door. Walking down the hospital's corridor, he was greeted by some of his patients, passing nurses or some colleagues. He kept every conversation short, unwilling to waste aimlessly any more of his valuable time with Emily.

Outside of her office he hesitated. _What if she was busy?_ She was a neurologist, she always had something to do. He sighed, making up his mind, and raised his hand to knock on her door. Thrice.

"Come in," came the muffled reply from inside.

Byakuya's heart skidded in his chest at the sound of her voice, but opened the door nonetheless, looking unfazed as always. She looked up from the papers she'd been working on and immediately smiled, making his heartbeat go wild.

"Hey," she greeted. She was not wearing her white coat. _Was she going home already?_

"Hello," he replied, trying and succeeding into making his voice sound steady, "Are you busy?"

"Nope!", she chirped, pushing away the papers from her desk, "I'm all yours."

Byakuya said nothing and sat down on the black leather chair, normally occupied by the patients, careful not to wrinkle his perfectly ironed white coat. He crossed his legs.

"Long day?"

She groaned, rubbing the back of her neck, "Endless. I'm beat."

He felt his lips twitch upwards in a rare smile. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

Her tired blue eyes twinkled, "You would? Ah, that'd be perfect."

Byakuya nodded and thick silence settled between them. It wasn't something unusual or uncomfortable, on the contrary; it was rather comforting and relaxing.

Suddenly something dawned on him. "How is my student doing? Is he alright in his job?"

Emily quirked an eyebrow. "Ichigo? Ichigo is simply perfect. He is the kindest and smartest young man I've ever met," she said.

Byakuya snickered. "Indeed, Mr. Kurosaki is a brilliant man. I am very fond of him."

The blue haired woman chuckled merrily, "He is scared of you though. Whenever he is at my house, he is always studying anatomy."

"He'd better," Byakuya retorted calmly.

She laughed again. "Loosen up on him, will you? He is such a good boy. Emma adores him already."

It was Byakuya's turn to raise an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yup," Emily chirped, "She is all over him whenever he is at home. I'm so glad to see her smile more and more every day. I only thank_ you_ for that."

"I did not do much; Mr. Kurosaki needed some occupation, I gave him a chance," Byakuya said evenly. Emily shook her head.

"No, no, indirectly, you saved Emma. She is so absorbed with Ichigo she doesn't think about her brother anymore."

Byakuya felt his body stiffen. Emily's son was a very delicate subject and he hated it when it was brought up.

"Is he still ... acting like this?", he asked.

Emily's face immediately fell and she stood up, hastily packing her things into her handbag. _Damn. That didn't look good._ Byakuya followed every movement she made with his sharp eyes, reading all the emotions crossing her outstandingly beautiful face. Fear, agitation, frustration, sadness. That's all he could read at once.

Suddenly she halted her mid-step and sighed, her back facing him.

_Oh no._

"What did I do wrong, Byakuya?", she said, her broken voice setting all the alarms in Byakuya's head off. He stood up and approached her, standing close behind her but not quite touching her – he never touched her without her permission - although he wanted to just wrap her in his arms and kiss her until she passed out. Until she forgot about everything that caused her pain.

"You did not do anything wrong Emily," he said calmly in his attempt to soothe her, "It is just a phase. All adolescents have one rebellious stage."

She turned around, her blue eyes red and watery. Byakuya's heart clenched.

"It's been five years," she whispered, "Ever since Emma's father left, he had spoken to me or Emma barely ten times... And whenever I try to talk to him, he shuts me out!" Tears tracked down her cheeks, her hands grasping Byakuya's coat before she buried her face into his neck.

"H-He says, he... He is not depressed. Hell, he even refuses to see a specialist," she sobbed and sniffled, "I-I don't understand, Byakuya! Why is he doing this to me? Why?!"

Byakuya sighed, pain attacking his heart mercilessly and he hugged her shaking frame. "I beg of you, don't cry." _It kills me._

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I'm sorry I'm upsetting you but you're the only friend I have left. You're the only one who understands me and I'm selfishly taking advantage of your kindness-"

"Stop," Byakuya interrupted sternly, effectively silencing her. He pulled away from their arm lock in favor of looking at her face. He cradled her head into both his hands, wiping the tears away from her eyes with his thumps. "We have been through this before; I will be here whenever you need me. As for your son, I can only advise you to be patient and not lose your faith. He will come around sooner or later."

A hint of smile grazed her features, her gorgeous eyes now glowing with affection. "I love you so much, you know that?"

Byakuya's heart leapt for heaven at the sound of those words and he smiled. He leaned forward, planting a tender kiss on her forehead and then two over her trembling eyelids. She chuckled, her previous desperate mood seeming to evaporate slowly.

"You always do that," she said, leaning into his touch.

"That is my way of showing affection," he admitted, "I do not fancy posh words."

Her blue eyes were shimmering with pure adoration and Byakuya was certain that this was the one and only thing he needed to live in this world. _It made him feel like Superman and Batman at the same time._

However, now that they were so close, and he could sense the warmth of her body, Byakuya noticed that his inner fire was burning brighter, his own body reacting in ways it shouldn't. In order to avoid any unpleasant consequences, he dropped his hands and took a small step back.

"Do you still want to go home?", he asked. She sighed but smiled.

"Yeah. I need a hot bath and a back rub. I'll make Ichigo give me one," she said and Byakuya was glad she was back to her usual, cheerful self.

He recalled an appropriate quote he'd recently read on the net, written by Alphonse Karr.

"Love is the most terrible, and also the most generous of the passions; it is the only one which includes in its dreams the happiness of someone else," it said.

How appropriate indeed.

**XXXX**

_Saturday night._

"Sooooo," Ichigo's blond friend, Shinji Hirako drawled, "You've got any nice gossip about the family yer workin' for?"

Ichigo sipped from his drink, rolling his eyes in the process. "Shin, I don't gossip."

The blond whined, leaning closer to Ichigo, "C'mon, mister party pooper, tell us a juicy story! All families have one!"

"Shinji," said the brunet sitting next to Shinji Hirako, his tone calm but strict nonetheless. Ichigo gave Shuuhei a glance of gratitude; always expect Shuuhei to step in and help when Shinji was being a pushy asshole, much like right now.

Besides, he couldn't gossip. Not that he felt propelled to anyway but Emily had asked him to keep things confidential.

_There went his hopes of forgetting the Jaeguerjaques topic for a couple of hours. Perfect._

Shinji angrily tucked a lock of his shoulder length blond hair behind his ear. "Can't you at least tell us what's yer boss like?"

_What a stubborn motherfucker.  
_  
Ichigo huffed angrily. "She is, like, the coolest person I know; she's at her mid-thirties or so, smart mouth and gosh," he sighed, "She is so goddamm beautiful."

Everyone in the table chuckled, including the normally serious Shuuhei. "And that comin' from a gay man says somethin'," Renji added, his tone teasing, then sipped from his drink.

"So, what makes her so beautiful?", Shinji asked, his piano tooth grin swallowing his face. _Woo. Creepy_.

"I guess it's her eyes," Ichigo said, running a hand through his hair, "She has the most expressive blue eyes I've ever seen, and so does her daughter." Ichigo laughed by himself, "Jeez, I adore that little creature so fucking much."

"The daughter or the mother?", Renji asked, confused.

"The daughter."

At that moment, the screen of his phone blinked, signaling an incoming message. Frowning, and ignoring Shinji's questions about "who's that", he opened the message.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered in amusement.

_Ichigo_, it read, _I kindly ask you to stay later than usual on Monday. My schedule is literally packed. Is it okay with you? Emily. _

He typed back, grinning at the screen. _Your wish is my command, Milady.  
_  
"This is kinda creepy, yanno," Renji muttered, playing with the rim of his glass. Ichigo frowned.

"What's creepy?"

"Yer smilin' like an idiot while textin' yer _boss_," Shinji agreed, pointing at Ichigo's cell phone on the table.

Before Ichigo got the chance to let out his snarky retort his phone buzzed again, startling all of them except Shuuhei. _Damn, nothing ever startled the overly-calm brunet.  
_  
This time however, it was an incoming call from Emily. _What the hell_? Without further ado, Ichigo hit the green button and adjusted the phone to his ear. "My Lady," he greeted, earning three incredulous looks from his friends.

He was awarded with a chirpy laughter. "Ah, Ichigo, you sure have your way with the ladies," she said.

Ichigo smirked. "So I've heard."

She laughed again. "It really doesn't bother you to stay a little later on Monday, yes?"

"As I said, it's cool. I have anatomy class on twelve o' clock, _oh sorry_," he corrected, his voice turning mock-serious, "... eleven fifty eight, the next day."

"Byakuya being punctual again?", she sighed, her voice hiding amusement.

"I couldn't find a better word than 'punctual', my Lady," Ichigo said, sipping from his drink.

"He really likes you Ichigo, he told me."

"Nah, that's just you trying to get my hopes up."

She giggled. "No I'm serious! Byakuya likes you a lot!"

Ichigo sighed but grinned nonetheless. "Alright, I believe you. Is there anything else you need me for, though? I do not wish to spend any more of your beauty sleep, my Lady."

"In other words, get off my back, I'm out with my friends, kind of thing?"

_This woman..._ Ichigo barked an amused laugh. "I never said that."

"Tell her ta join us, tell her ta join us!", Shinji yelled, nudging Ichigo's shoulder and even if Ichigo didn't want to tell her to join them, she'd already heard. He shoot a heated glare at Shinji but the blond seemed unfazed.

"Tell your friend that I'd be delighted to join you but I can't leave Emma alone in the house so late at night," Emily said instead and Ichigo could practically hear the amusement in her voice.

"Excuse my friend; he can't help what he is." Shinji whined at the mean comment and punched Ichigo on the shoulder. "But you are welcome to join us whenever you wish."

"That's good to know," she said then sighed. "Well then, I bid you farewell, Mr. Kurosaki."

"As I am, Lady Jaeguerjaques."

She giggled again. "See you on Monday, sweetie."

"Can't wait," Ichigo said before the line went dead. When he put the phone down, he was greeted by three incredulous stares from his friends. "What?", he asked, scowling.

"That shoulda been our line," Shinji said, "Are ya sure ya still like cock Ichigo?"

"What? Yes!"

"What this dork is trying to get across," Shuuhei intervened, glaring at Shinji, "… is that you seem rather intimate with your boss."

"I am not intimate," Ichigo scoffed, "We just kid around, that's all."

"Callin' her Milady or my Lady sounds too weird ta someone's ears," Renji added.

The oranget scowled. "Well, I don't care what you think, I already told you how I feel about my boss and that's that. I'm just trying to make her smile a little bit more, you know!"

Three pair of eyes blinked in confusion and at that moment, Ichigo realized he'd said something he shouldn't. _Fuck_, he cursed inwardly,_ how could I let that one slip?_

"What do ya mean?", Shinji asked, a fine blond eyebrow reaching his hairline.

Ichigo sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. "Look, like all families, she has her own problems too. I was asked to stay silent for this so please, let's just change the subject."

Heavy silence fell across the gang at the end of Ichigo's statement for which the orange haired man was glad. _Okay, he knew that his friends were nosy as hell, especially Shinji, but they knew when things were to be taken seriously and when not. _

It was Shinji who broke the uncomfortable silence, "So! I've met this gorgeous guy in the studio and I'm like soooo in love with him…"

Ichigo smiled, inwardly thanking his friend for taking the matters to his hands and distract everyone. Shinji was a good buddy, stubborn but understanding. Shuuhei on the other hand, was too calm and collected, always a good listener, always had an advice for any problem. And Renji... Well Renji was Renji. No matter what happened, the redhead always had his back.

Once, Ichigo was in a desperate situation, debating whether to quit medicine. He kept it all to himself, never let anyone in until Renji barged into his apartment – he had nearly broken the damn door, the asshole – and yelled something that had marked Ichigo ever since.

"You can't carry the world onto your shoulders, Ichigo. It's too damn heavy!"

He glanced subtly at every single one of his friends and smiled goofily. He was so glad that someone up there deemed him worthy enough and gave him friends like those three.

_Although he would never admit such girly thought out loud, it didn't hurt to think about it, right?_

**XXXX**

**Well, I added the exact time during which either of the events was occurring (those little lame, underlined headings at the very beginning) because I thought it was somehow confusing to follow their correct order. I'm sorry for the mess. **

**I know that the plot is going rather slow, but this fiction is not all about the smut and the sex. I promise you, however, that Grimmjow is about to make is appearance. Patience is virtue.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!**

**- Queen. **


	6. Chapter 6

**So, uuuh... Chapter 6, ladies and gentlemen. **

**I was in a really shitty mood when I was writing this - you'll see why - but I think it worked quite nice for the purpose of this chapter.**

**Anyway, a big "thank you" to everyone who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this one as well.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. However, I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**XXXX**

_Tuesday afternoon._

The moment Ichigo raised his hand to knock on the Jaegerjaques', the door snapped opened, revealing his boss in the flesh who in turn seemed to be in a goddamned hurry.

"Ichigo!", she exclaimed, startled, "You're late!"

"U-Uh, sorry," Ichigo apologized, equally suprised from their sudden encounter.

Emily gave him a long stare but smiled a little in the end. "So sweetie, I'd -"

Ichigo didn't really register what she was saying afterwards, his attention focusing on one thing solely; her eyes. They were red rimmed and wet. Also her smile from before didn't reach her eyes like it normally did.

_Had she been crying?_

"… and I received an urgent call, so do you mind staying a little bit later today as well?" When Ichigo didn't answer she quirked a blue eyebrow. "Ichigo, are you listening to me?"

Ichigo blinked and shook his head. "Emily, are you alright?", he asked before he could stop himself. Emily stared at him again, her normally dancing in amusement eyes turning cold and serious.

_H-Huh?_

"I'm fine," she bit out, her harsh tone completely unfamiliar to Ichigo, "As I said, I need you to stay here late, have I made myself clear?"

Stunned beyond belief, Ichigo opened and closed his mouth multiple times before he could muster an intelligible answer. "Ah, y-yes, I-I get it."

"Good," Emily said, her voice and eyes softening just a tiny bit. "I'll see you later." She brushed past Ichigo, heading to the elevator in a brisk pace. Ichigo gaped at her retreating back until the elevator doors closed shut.

_What the hell was that about?  
_  
Just now, Emily was like a whole different person. That look in her eyes was one Ichigo never wanted to see again; such coldness with a hint of repressed anger, but most of all raw anguish. _What was eating her?_ Painful emotions didn't suit this woman. She deserved to be happy and happy only.

Stepping into the house, Ichigo scowled while taking off his shoes. _He was almost a hundred percent sure that Emily's odd behavior had to do something with her son. Her eyes were even red, damn it!  
_  
"Ichi! Ichi!", Emma's loud yell stirred him back to the real world from the negative thoughts flooding his mind. She was reaching up for him, giggling, her little hands clutching the hem of his shirt. _When did she get there in the first place?_

"Hey little demon," he greeted, picking her up in his arms and kissing her chubby cheek. His bad mood was temporarily pushed at the back of his mind.

Emma shook her head disapprovingly. "You're late Ichi," she scolded.

Ichigo chuckled. It scared the hell out of him how grown up that child was sometimes behaving. "Excuse me young Lady, it won't happen again."

The little demon giggled playfully; she had already forgiven him. "It's okay. Now let's play!" She squirmed lively in Ichigo's grasp, forcing the oranget to put her down and frown at her before following her to the living room.

"Ichi, let's play, let's play," she requested once Ichigo was seated on the couch.

"What do _you_ want to play?"

The blue haired girl, tapped her chin, her lips pressed into a thin line of consideration. Ichigo grinned in amusement.

"Let's have a drawing competition!", she finally shouted excitedly.

"A drawing competition?"

"Yes, yes," she rushed to explain, "If I win, you'll let me watch the late Spongebob episode and if you win…" She stopped there, thinking before jumping and adding cheerfully, "If you win, you can decide your prize!"

Ichigo smirked. "It's a deal," he managed to say before she jumped off the couch and ran to her room to retrieve her drawing pencils and markers. Wiping a few tears – of laughter of course – that had gathered around his eyes, Ichigo took a deep breath and prepared himself for the upcoming competition. He sucked hard nads at drawings and at anything of artistic nature.  
_  
Yeah. That'd be fun. It'd certainly take his mind off of things._

Come to think of it, Ichigo had a lot in his mind lately. First was the university, with the shitload of essays and tests, Renji's incapability of learning anything closely related to math and then Shinji's constant nagging about Ichigo not going out with him any more.

_He had to study damn it._

Besides, the last test in biochemistry was a disaster; although the subject was relatively easy and so were the questions, Ichigo got himself a big fat F. It was written in such way, it seemed like the paper itself said "Fuck you!", which was appropriate, concerning the stupid mistakes he had made. _At least he'd be able to make up for it on Thursday's test. __Hopefully..._

To add to all this, the previous day, he had received an urgent call from his fifteen year old sister, Yuzu, that his other sister, Karin, got into a fight and broke her hand and a few ribs.

"Damn it, Karin," he cursed under his breath in Japanese, thankful that little Emma wasn't there yet.

Karin was always so impulsive, she didn't think twice before she spoke or acted; from what Yuzu told him, Karin and her friends were out playing soccer, until a bunch of third years showed up and mocked them. Being as short tempered as Ichigo was, his little raven haired sister stood up for her team and got into a fight with the seniors, all of them boys so to say. Although, according to Yuzu, Karin managed to knock out half of them on her own, before the rest of them ran away, she was left with a broken hand and two fractured ribs.

Ichigo was still worried about his little sister's health, even though his old man, also a doctor, assured him that she was okay, before he started yowling how much his little girl had grown and took on bigger boys. The orange haired man had ended the call at that point. _His old man was a fucking weirdo on crack sometimes._

"Ichugo!" Emma called, waving her hand in front of Ichigo's face, "What's the matter, you look troubled."

Her voice was so full of concern that Ichigo melted a little inside. He ruffled her sea blue hair and smiled weakly at her. "Sorry, I am just a little tired," he said.

_He was tired. He really was._

Wide blue eyes stared up at him, Emma's gaze calculating, scanning. "Okay," she muttered in the end and then grinned mischievously, "Even if you're tired, I won't go easy on you! I'll definitely defeat you in the contest!"

With that said, Emma grasped all the paint markers and the colored pencils, getting to work. Ichigo wasted some of his time looking at her concentrating face, thinking that she was the one of the few so joyful existances left in his life.

Time passed quickly while they both worked on their "masterpieces" with the dedication and the passion of a true artist. Emma came up with a grizzly bear family whereas Ichigo drew a sideways view of the human brain.

"What is this?", Emma asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust, "It is horrible!"

"It's the human brain, silly," Ichigo retorted, "Something apparently you don't have."

Emma scowled angrily. "No, you're the one with no brain! Stupid!"

"Oh yeah?", Ichigo taunted, playfully tickling her tummy, "I'm not the one who drew bears with ears on their necks!", he said, pointing at the picture of the deformed grizzly bear family, with peculiar eyes and dislocated body parts.

Emma blushed, hiding the embarrassing picture behind her back. "I'm not good at drawings, okay?", she defended, her face apologetic, "That doesn't make me silly!"

"Of course it doesn't," Ichigo agreed, "But that's what you get for insulting my drawing."

"You're dense," Emma mumbled petulantly.

"So are you," Ichigo shot back, grinning from ear to ear.

They kept mock fighting with each other for some time before Emma gave up, saying "You are too immature Ichugo," and suggested they watched TV. Ichigo had laughed hysterically at the dismissive comment, thinking that maybe, yes, he was immature but it was entirely too cute for a little girl such as Emma to talk about maturity.

TV suggestion settled, and so she and Ichigo started watching a terrifying version of Naruto english dubbed, which had Ichigo cringe at the mere sound. He had grown up with Naruto as a kid but listening the originally Japanese characters speaking lamely translated in English Japanese, gave him the chills.

It wasn't long before Emma's head fell on his arm, her breathing evening out as she fell asleep.

**XXXX**

Little Emma was finally asleep in her bed. Ichigo had carried her as soon as he made sure she would not wake up and closed her room's door behind him quietly. He sighed, a huge smile adorning his face. This tiny, blue haired demon of cuteness would be the death of him one day. Mark his words.

_Finally, some time to nerd myself out_, he thought to himself and made his way to the living room, where his stuff lay all over the place. He found a bunch of notes about immunology and a couple of pathological lymph nodes slides, and with a nod to himself he settled down to study.

It wouldn't have been twenty minutes since he switched his nerd mode on when suddenly, the sound of glasses coming together made his ears perk up, all his muscles tensing dangerously. It came from the kitchen. Frowning, he walked slowly towards said room, his stance defensive and stiff. _Who the hell was in the house?  
_  
Peaking from the kitchen door, Ichigo came across a sight that had him freezing on the spot, his heart back flipping in his chest. _What the eff?_

In front of him, just a few meters away, stood a shirtless young man fussing around the kichen's cupboard and in the prossess of pulling out a huge mug. But nevermind that; Ichigo found himself leering at the broad, muscular back presented in abundance, those stone-washed, blue jeans riding dangerously low on deliciously narrow and protruding hip bones, before slowly registering that the man had… Blue hair?

_Blue hair?  
_  
It slowly clicked. Well, the color was blue but it was a different shade from the rest of the Jaeguerjaques family; instead of the navy-blue, this guy had sky blue hair.

_So_ _this had to be his boss's notorious son, in the flesh, ladies and gentlemen._

With his good mood from before darkening at the sight of the heartless bastard who continuously hurt Emily and Emma, Ichigo cleared his throat to attract the younger man's attention. Azure, bone melting eyes focused on him, making Ichigo's knees quiver like jello, just like all the rest of the Jaegerjaques did but the negativity of his thoughts severely outnumbered that feeling. Ichigo opened his mouth to speak but the blue haired boy beat him to it.

"Who the fuck'er you?"

Ichigo scowled at the youth's crass, not to mention rude, attitude, his previous good mood evaporating completely like pure alcohol. However, he managed to stay remotely calm. After all, he really needed this job so the first thing he wanted to avoid was getting into an argument with his boss's beloved son and get himself fired.

"I am Ichigo Kurosaki, your sister's temporary keeper," he said instead, as calmly as his short temper allowed him to.

The blue haired man scoffed, pouring some hot tea into that huge mug he had taken out previously. "What-fuckin'-ever," he muttered, oiling Ichigo's inner fire a tad more. _I need this job, I need this job_, Ichigo kept chanting in his head, willing his patience not to snap.

But suddenly it was too late; be it the negative feelings he already had for the boy, be it his pride as a man that got in the way but as soon as the other looked up at him, blue eyes dancing with mischief, Ichigo knew that patience time was over.

"Yer cooking sucks, by the way," the rude youngster said casually.

Ichigo was strongly debating whether or not to lung himself at the other boy and teach him a few manners but alas, at the last moment, he contained his flaring temper. Barely, though. _Alright, Ichigo knew that he couldn't cook to save his life but he couldn't stand t__he fucking nerve that brat had!_

Instead, he bowed formally, placing his hand over his chest just like a butler would do, and he tried to make his voice as dry and sarcastic as possible when he said, "My deepest apologies that my cooking wasn't to your liking, Lord Asshole."

Straightening up to see how his answer had affected the teen, Ichigo nearly pissed his pants in fear; all the previous humor in the teen's eyes had dried out, his cornflower-blue eyes slicing diamonds. Hell, it even felt as if the room temperature dropped at least thirty degrees as the two males stared at each other. Ichigo felt positively afraid for his life but held his ground, crossing his arms in front of his chest and waiting.

"Yer mouthing off? To me? Ya know who I am?", the blue haired boy asked, or rather threatened, breaking the heavy silence nestled between them. Ichigo stared a little more before he dared to chuckle dryly, a smirk lifting the left corner of his mouth. _Heh. What a fucking dipshit. _Ichigo's inner fire was back.

"A spoiled brat is all I see," Ichigo retorted.

Jaegerjaques seethed, baring his teeth and took a few steps closer to Ichigo. Even though Ichigo didn't move a muscle, his body stiffened noticeably in defense, the hairs at the back of his neck standing to attention.

"Ya should prob'bly watch yer mouth around me, Orange," the younger man growled.

Anger now seeping through his pores in tidal waves, Ichigo's scowl darkened a few more shades. He had had enough of that asshole's high and mighty attitude.

"Hoh? Was that a threat, young grasshopper?"

Suddenly, everything became blurry and the next thing Ichigo realized was a sharp pain attacking viciously the whole length of his back as the larger male shoved him roughly against the kitchen wall, his air passages blocked by a large hand tightly wrapped around his neck.

_When had the fucker moved?_

"No one talks to me like this." The words came out in a slow growl, the absence of teasing scared the orange haired man. Ichigo should have backed down to not irritate the young deliquent any further but his pride got the best of him.

"Obviously someone should," he chocked around the block on his throat.

The hand around his neck tightened some more, making Ichigo force a breathless moan down. His vision had started to blacken, his head spinning from the lack of oxygen. But he wouldn't give up. Not yet.

"I will kill you."

Ichigo's eyes went anime wide at the unexpected yet must-be-taken-seriously threat. He took in the blurry image of his attacker before reaching out and grabbed a hold of the other's wrist. Knowing a little more than an average person about the position of the carpal bones, the oranget expertly placed his fingers and pressed hard on where the scaphoid bone should have been.

The blue haired boy briefly glanced down on his wrist and gritted his teeth. _Bingo._ Ichigo was causing him pain already. With all the strength he could muster from his oxygen deprived muscles, he increased the pressure. This time, the attacker growled in pain.

_Hang in there, hang in there! Just a little more and Ichigo'd break that fucking bone!_

Before his wishes came true, the blue haired teen slapped Ichigo's hands away, releasing the grasp around Ichigo's neck too. He went to cater his hand straight away, rotating and massaging his wrist. On the other hand Ichigo collapsed on his knees and wheezed like an old man, desperately sucking in as much of the precious oxygen as he could. _Shit, that was close. _Ichigo fleetingly thought that the boy indeed wanted to kill him.

He didn't have too much time to appreciate his lovely reunion with the atmospheric air because a hard kick to his ribs forced the air back out. Ichigo fell on his side grunting in pain, staring at the sadistically smirking face of the Jaegerjaqes boy looming over him.

"Ya got the fight in ya, Orange, doncha?", said the boy, delivering another hard kick onto Ichigo's side. Ichigo moaned in pain again, curling into fetal position. The other male cackled and roughly lifted Ichigo up from the front of his shirt, his stone cold blue eyes drilling angry holes into Ichigo's. Ichigo could barely stand, let alone fight back. He needed...

_He needed to suck it up and fight back!_

"Lemme tell ya somethin'," said the blunet, "You can sell out yer smart mouth to yer gay ass friends, but not to me." His face grew closer, his blue eyes glimering in rage.

"I ain't one to fuck with."

Ichigo felt his mouth lift into a smirk. _There it was._ His carnal, blood lusting side was waking up and chuckling. Clenching his hand into a solid fist, he delivered a nearly deadly blow on the larger male's stomach, right on the solar plexus. The blue haired man groaned and staggered back a few steps, but sooner than Ichigo had expected, he stroke back, his fist finding Ichigo's jaw.

_Ichigo swore he saw stars. Damn, that guy had one hell of a punch._

Too bad Ichigo was better.

From his periphery, Ichigo registered another fist coming his way. This one, he caught with his bare hands and with the flick of his right leg, he kicked the blue haired teen behind his knee, making the boy loose his balance.

_That was all she wrote._

Putting all the remnants of his strength, he grasped the boy's arm, pulled him closed and threw the boy over his shoulder to the floor with a twist of his torso. _Heh, it wasn't so bad he was a judo black belt after all._

The other man hit the floor with a silent "oomph", and Ichigo wasted no time before he was straddling the teen's hips, pining the hands previously wrapped around his neck down at the marble floor. At the younger man's expression he smirked; outstanding blue eyes were wide, startled. Apparently no one had even lived long enough to dominate this brass boy into a battle.

_There is always a first time for everything._

"Well then, let _me_ tell _you_ something, bratty little shit," Ichigo spat angrily into the other's still stunned face, "I may work for your family but that ain't giving you any rights to treat me like trash, let alone beat me up because I fuckin' _talked back_ to you."

The blue haired boy struggled effortlessly to free himself before biting a harsh, "Fuck you!"

The oranget cackled darkly, his grip on the boy's wrists tightening, "Sorry," he said smugly, "Not interested in men with cotton candy hair."

The body underneath him writhed in agitation once more but Ichigo knew he had the upper hand in this position.

"Get tha fuck offa me, bastard!", snarled the blue haired youngster.

"Che," Ichigo snorted, finally releasing the armlock before standing up to his feet, "You're a hundred years to early to be mouthing off to me, _boy_," he added, voice dripping with sudden disgust. Actually, it wasn't exactly sudden; Ichigo _was_ disgusted by this asshole's shitty behavior towards his mother and sister and now towards him too.

The rebel stood up too and dusted himself off with a fierce scowl on his otherwise handsome face. Ichigo studied him in silence, feelings of mortification slowly taking over the previous rage. _Damn, he had let his temper get the best of him once more. No matter how much the other had pissed him off, he shouldn't have started a fight. _He rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, before sighing in defeat. _Then again_, he mused, _He didn't regret doing it. That asshole had it coming._ Absently minded, Ichigo touched his neck, flinching at the subtle sting of pain.

_Fuck, this was going to bruise. So would his aching ribs too._

Then their eyes locked, attracting Ichigo's attention from the pain on his neck; icy blue with stony brown. They stayed silent for quite a while, exchanging wordless threats, calculating and measuring one another.

It was Ichigo who broke this silence, "I will not let your mother know about this fiasco, as I do not wish to upset her any more than you already seem to be doing or get myself fired in anyway," he said quietly. Then he added, his tone fiercer, "This is between you and me kid."

"Quit it, asshole!", the other muttered and Ichigo wanted to laugh at how sullen and petulant he sounded. _Aaaw the first class asshole Jaegerjaques could even sound like a petulant child._

"How old are you?", Ichigo suddenly asked, his curiosity killing the cat.

"As old as I want," came the rude reply. _Humans, especially teenagers, were so predictable_. Ichigo did not get mad this time; he simply cocked his head to the side, crossing his hands over his chest and waited. Just as he expected, the irritable youngster gritted his teeth and huffed.

"Eighteen."

Ichigo quirked one orange eyebrow. _Eighteen, huh? He had guessed right. However, this guy still looked twenty five at the very least. He was huge!_ A devious idea to tease the boy came up to his mind and Ichigo smirked. Although he really should give it a rest and not push his luck any further, the oranget couldn't stop himself.

"Too bad," Ichigo sighed in mock defeat, "You're an adult thus I can't send you to your room, grounded for the rest of the night. But I can sue you for assault."

"Fuck off," the boy threw over his shoulder as he went to pick the until now forgotten mug, takin a long sip from his tea. The tea seemed to calm him down a little, if the relaxing of his naked shoulders was any indication.

Ichigo chuckled dryly; after all this unnecessary ruckus, he came to realize that teasing the irritable boy in front of him - instead of beating him up - was kind of fun; sadistic fun but still fun.

He deserved it at the very least. _Asshole._

"Language," he scolded, making a pair of angry blue eyes pine him into place. He chuckled again, amused.

"Yer too cocky fer yer own good, _Orange_," the youngster muttered as he slowly made his way past Ichigo and out of the kitchen. Ichigo followed him unconsciously.

"You can just suck on my cockiness,_ boy_." Really, Ichigo could just shut the fuck up and let it go already but _nooo _his mouth did not wish to cooperate with his brain.

"Fuckin' fag," said the other.

"At least I'm not a pussy…"

"Look," the boy bit back, turning to face Ichigo so suddenly, the orange haired man had a moment of vertigo, "I ain't in tha mood ta deal witcha right now. Plus, if I really do kick yer faggot ass, Em'll wake up."

The oranget scowled fiercely, taking a step closer to the bigger yet younger male. Although he knew that he didn't really stand a chance against the other in another fist-to-fist fight, he'd take his risks. _He would bow down to that certified twat and inflate his already boasting ego._

"I'll show you some good kicking ass, young grasshopper. Just name it," Ichigo spat aggressively in the other's face. Their faces were mere inches apart and Ichigo could feel the other's breath on his face, slow and rhythmic, blue eyes filled with suppressed rage and something Ichigo could not exactly identify but it sure as hell was unnerving.

The corner of Jaegerjaques' mouth lifted in a humorless smirk and then the blue haired teen turned his back on Ichigo and walked into his bedroom.

"Go back to yer studyin', nerd," he said dismissively and Ichigo wanted to kick him and break his legs. He contained it. Emily wouldn't be so happy if he hurt her precious son.

"And you go back into being a heartless asshole that gets off by causing his family pain," Ichigo said acidly in response.

The boy's back stiffened once more and Ichigo expected confrontation, at least a shout or another punch. Instead, he received a door to his face, the blue haired boy not even commenting on Ichigo's accusation.

_What the fuck was this guy's problem anyway?_, Ichigo thought to himself and felt a headache shooting his temples. _Perfect, how was he going to study now?_ Shaking his head and taking a few calming breaths, Ichigo slowly walked back in the living room. He found his backpack and opened it, dragged out the gigantic anatomy atlas on his lap, deciding to study anatomy instead of immunology after all. _Less shit for a headache_, he mused. Although he currently felt like shit, sick to his stomach and his throat drier than Sahara, getting his blood pumped renewed, his thirst for knowledge suddenly increased. It was weird but at least it was productive.

Burying his nose in the large book, Ichigo dug himself into the sweet world of the human brain, his own mind cloudy and full of shadows.

**XXXX**

**Shit happens, ne?**

**Oh yeah, lemme explain something for ya; I used to call a little boy "young grasshopper" because it fascinated me how pissed he got and how he always tried to kick my ass. Heh, no luck with the latter. So that's why I had Ichigo call Grimm that.**

**Also, I apologize for using so many medical terms; for all of you who don't know, the scaphoid is one of the eight little bones that practically compose our wrists. It is the one easily and frequently broken in accidents, and although I am not sure if it can be broken by one's bare hands, it suited me just fine to use it. Also, it takes a lot of time for the bone to heal. So please don't go and break anything!**

**What is more, the solar plexus is a network of nerves located in the abdomen, approximately behind the stomach. If you aim, for example, a punch in this area, you can cause a lot of pain to the recipient. Grimmjow however seems to recover very quickly.**

**That's all fellas. Thanks for reading.**

**Queen.**


	7. Chapter 7

**There you have it, Chapter 7!**

**I love nerdy Ichigo. I think it's fucking hot. Is it only me?**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. However, I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**XXXX**

The next morning, Ichigo abruptly woke up because of a freakish nightmare that involved haunting blue eyes, choking and his mother crying his name in desperation. He shot up from his bed, his breathing irregular and shallow, his nut-brown eyes wide in fear.

_Where am I? Where am I? Where's mom?_, his panicking mind chanted.

"Mom... Mom...", he muttered in confusion, glancing at his surroundings in terror. Soon enough though, as he slowly took in the features of his bedroom, he sighed in relief and rubbed a hand over his face, taking deep calming breaths to regulate his crazy heart rate.

_It'd been a while since he dreamt of his deceased mother. What the hell got to him? _

_Maybe because his boss's son nearly killed him yesterday, just like-_

_Let's... Let's not got there._

Ichigo flopped back at the bed and searched for his phone. _6:15 am._ He still had about one and a half hour to sleep but alas, after experiencing such intense nightmare, he wouldn't be able to go back to it. Instead, he sat up again and clumsily made his way to the bathroom, getting rid of all his clothes on the way.

_Shower, I need a hot shower,_ he mused but came to stop, or rather freeze on the spot, when he caught a glimpse of his reflection. Slowly, he approached the bathroom's mirror, his eyes progressively widening as he realized the mess going on around his neck; there were four, thick and very purple bruises from one side and a single one on the other side. Another pretty bruise was also forming on his side.

A perfect print of his boss's son hand and foot, just as the young boy had gripped and kicked him respectively yesterday. _Perfect._

_Okay, he would cover the shit on his sides with clothes but how the fuck was he supposed to cover up the shit on his neck?_

Ichigo reached with his one hand to touch the bruise tentatively, flinching then cringing at the sharp pain emanating from it. _Just how close to dying did he come yesterday?_ He was impressed that his trachea was still intact.

_So he would be wearing a scarf today…_ Ichigo sighed in defeat and skid into the shower, where he stayed at least twenty minutes under the hot water. It was the only way to calm down his taut nerves.

After he got out, everything slid back to routine; he had breakfast, dressed up, careful to cover the nasty print of Jaegerjaques' hand with the grey scarf Yuzu had made for him when she was ten. Although he never really wore it, afraid that he would destroy it, it was now very appropriate plus, it matched perfectly with his dark grey jeans and his black Nike tee.

_He should also buy some make-up. Or even better, borrow some from Shinji. Nah, Shinji would ask questions, so buying it is. _

Checking himself out in the mirror, Ichigo deemed he was good looking enough to face the world. He grabbed his stuff, his notebook and his case with colorful pens - there is no way of learning medical shit if he didn't put colors everywhere - and took off.

He locked his door thrice, trying to lock all his awakening and haunting demons inside the house as well, so that they won't follow him and disturb him from learning what he loved.

_Yup._

It didn't work.

As soon as Ichigo was out of the house, his mind went back to those beautiful blue eyes, threatening to take his life and his mother crying out to him to run as fast as he could.

_The past was one hell of a burden._

**XXXX**

Emily looked at her patient's file and sighed. It was obvious that the man had an aneurism, currently unruptured and he needed surgery ASAP to avoid any complications. She picked up her phone, pressed a few buttons and waited until a voice chirped a greeting on the other end.

"Jaegerjaques speaking," she said coldly, "Patient number six zero five, Jason Tanners, yes, the man suffers from an aneurism. Run a cerebral angiogram to confirm it and if I'm right, send him immediately to surgery. That's all." And with that, she ended the call, not even bothering to listen to what the poor nurse had to say.

Usually, Emily was not a bitch at work and she hated herself for bringing her family problems at work, but sometimes she couldn't help it. It was a sheer torture she couldn't take her mind off of.

The biggest and most hurtful problem of her life; her son.

**XXXX**

_The previous afternoon._

Emily knocked on her son's door subtly, waiting for the permission to enter but it never came. Sighing in defeat, her heart clenching in her chest, she opened the door, emerging into the always darkly lit room. Her blue eyes scanned the neatly kept place before settling on the figure laying on the bed. Her heart swelled with love and her face broke into a smile at the mere sight of her beloved son.

"Hey baby," she greeted, closing the door behind her. The body on the bed shifted a little but generally didn't move. Usually her son would have turned his back on her but thankfully this time he only kept his eyes shut. It was fine; Emily only wanted to look at his face.

She approached the bed slowly and sat on the bouncy mattress. "How are you?", she asked and touched his cheek tenderly.

There was a long while of silence before the boy answered her, his eyes still closed.

"Good."

She instantly smiled; his voice had become so deep and so manly throughout the years. _Ah, her little baby was growing up so fast._

Her hand then found its way into his blue hair, ruffling the tresses lovingly. "I have to leave and Emma's baby sitter is a little late," she said, "You don't need to come out of the room if you don't want to but can I ask you to just keep your mind on your sister until he comes?"

It was then that her son's eyes opened, their extraordinary blue was icy cold. Her chest hurt once more and she forced down a shiver. There it was; that hatred was clearly painted into those eyes and it was directed at her. Her eyes watered almost like a reflex. She couldn't stand that her beloved son, whom she loved oh so very much, hated her.

"Why do you hate me so much baby?", she croaked, her voice breaking, "What did I do wrong?"

The boy huffed angrily and turned on his side, his back now facing her. "I'm gonna look after Em, mom. Ya don't hafta cry," said her son. The indignation in his voice made the accumulating tears in her eyes spill over and track down her cheeks.

"If you told me why you hate me so much then I wouldn't have to cry, you know," she said sarcastically, sniffling.

"I don't hate ya," the son replied.

She rolled her eyes and sniffled some more. "Your attitude towards me says otherwise."

The son sighed indignantly at her words, making her heart pang painfully in her chest. But it was what he said next that nearly killed her.

"Go do yer job mom an' leave me alone."

Emily forced down a loud sob that threatened to escape from her throat by clamping her hand over her mouth, the tears now running down like rivers. She stood up and left her son's room as soon as possible, granting his wish, if that was all she could do for him any more.

**XXXX**

_Present _

Emily sighed again at the painful memory, also feeling like a bum for treating Ichigo like shit afterwards. The boy only asked her if she was alright, like any normal person would do and she went all bossy bitch on him.

_I'll have to apologize later for my shitty behavior_, she mentally promised.

There was a quiet knock on her door, which made her ears perk up. "Come in," she called and placed the patient's file she'd been looking down. The door opened slowly, revealing her one and only best friend in the whole world.

"Byakuya!", she exclaimed, her bad mood shifting a little bit towards "better" now that she saw his face. "Where do I owe the pleasure?"

Byakuya Kuchiki closed the door behind him and strolled to her desk with a grace rivalling a prince. Even his long ebony hair was falling off his shoulders in a prince-like manner. A small smirk was also lifting the corners of his mouth.

"Rumors say that you have been terrorizing the nurses today so I came to see for myself," Byakuya said, taking his usual seat and crossed his long legs. "What is the matter?"

Emily clicked her tongue, rubbing her face. "What else?"

She saw Byakuya's face go rigid and hard, his black eyes narrowing. This man knew exactly what her son's bizzare behavior was doing to her and he always, always listened and gave her advice. He was practically the only one to keep Emily on track. Byakuya and her daughter, Emma.

"I am listening," he stated calmly, knitting his hands on his crossed legs.

"There is nothing to say really," she muttered, "He's just his same old depressive self."

"What can I do?", Byakuya asked, his face softer now, gentle. It made Emily smile a little.

"Would you spend the night at my place? I really need some company." She knew what she was asking was outrageous but if there was one person to make her feel slightly better in this situation, that person was her best friend. _Darn it, she was so freaking selfish._

"Sure," the other said, his voice even. Trust Byakuya to never, ever say no to her. Even his black eyes were sparkling with affection he only showed when he was with her. Emily's smile broadened.

"You're the best," she said, standing up from her seat and walking around her mahogany desk, up to the raven haired male. She cradled his face into her hands and kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"As I do," Byakuya said with a smile when she pulled back. He then gently captured her wrists, planting a chaste kiss on top of each of her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. It was simple and cute and it never failed to make her feel like she was the most special person in Byakuya's universe.

It was sad that she didn't know she actually _was_ the most special person in Byakuya's universe.

Smiling down at her friend, Emily wondered what she ever did to deserve such a kind person on her side. _Ah well_, she concluded, _If it's him, I can do anything. Even stuff my demons at the back of my mind._

**XXXX**

Ichigo put Emma to sleep around eight thirty and then immersed himself into his neuroanatomy. This shit was so damn difficult to learn, too much information in his opinion, but it once he'd learnt it, he never forgot about it.

It wouldn't have been more than an hour since he started studying when a familiar voice made him jump in astonishment. He hadn't even heard anyone come in the house, so absorbed he was.

"See? I told you he'd be studying anatomy!" Emily said, walking up to him with a big grin on her face, "Hello sweetie."

_Ah, it was good to see her smile once again._

"Hey, how was work?", Ichigo replied with a tired smile.

"Good. I brought a friend with me at home, I hope you don't mind," she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Ichigo opened his mouth to ask but it all soon died down when his jaw dropped on the floor at the sight of his anatomy professor emerging in the living room with the air of a noble. He immediately shot up from the couch, bowing ever so slightly.

"Good evening professor Kuchiki."

The brunet nodded his head in acknowledgement, his face as expressionless as ever. "Mr. Kurosaki."

Emily whined, "Aaaw come on guys! This is not school, loosen up!" She then turned to Byakuya, touching the side of his face with her hand. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Sure," professor Kuchiki said and then Ichigo noticed something that had him gaping for at least thirty seconds.

_Hooooooooooh?!_

As Emily made her way to her bedroom, the professor's eyes - longingly - lingered on her for a tad more than it was necessary or normal. If it was someone else less perceptive than Ichigo, this small action would have gone unnoticed. _But oh well, Kuchiki, you're unlucky!_

Ichigo felt his face splitting into an involuntary Cheshire grin. _So his anatomy professor had a little thingy thing for Emily. _Who would have ever, ever, thought that Kuchiki Byakuya, the man with the emotionless mask on his face, can feel the subtle skirts and tremors of love and lust?

"I don't blame you, you know," Ichigo blurted before realizing it, "She is an amazing person."

Kuchiki raised one black eyebrow. "I do not understand what you are talking about, Mr. Kurosaki."

Ichigo grinned, "Oh come on. I'm talking about your little crush on Emily."

His professor's eyes narrowed dangerously, their black turning hard. "I do not appreciate your tone, Mr. Kurosaki."

Although Ichigo should have backed away with his hands raised in defense, he grinned wider, his sadistic side suddenly more than awake, and he said, "She may be blind and not see it, but someone with good eyes like mine can see it clearly."

Ichigo started to think that he'd taken it a little bit too far with his teasing when Kuchiki Byakuya sent him a glare that could kill a whole population of grizzly bears, if looks could kill. The brunet took a few steps closer to Ichigo, his posture stiff and, for the first time, aggressive while Ichigo backed away slowly, terrified, his eyes wide.

"I do not recall giving you permission to speak to me so freely, Ichigo Kurosaki," his professor pronounced slowly, each word dropping on Ichigo like a slice of a blade.

"I-I apologize. Sir," Ichigo stuttered, releasing the breath he'd been holding and relaxed when his anatomy professor moved away from him. Kuchiki sighed and ran a hand through his long raven hair, then looked up to Ichigo again, pining him into place.

"I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut about this," he said curtly, "I do not wish your mistaken and misled conclusions to upset Emily in any way."

"But I don't understand, sir," Ichigo dared to utter, his stance still defensive.

Kuchiki Byakuya gave him an incredulous stare, a black eyebrow still raised. "What do you not understand? My sentence was quite simple."

Ichigo shook his head. "No, I mean, I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself, sir," He squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath to gather his courage and say, "If you, uh, love her, why don't you... I don't know, tell her?"

Ichigo expected the other to fume, to murder him with another population killing glare like he had done before, hell, he even expected Kuchiki to slap him across the face. But he definitely did not expect the response he received.

"I am too late," the black haired professor said, staring persistently at the floor.

"I'm back!" Emily's sudden chirpy voice startled both men, breaking their intense moment. _Damn! Kuchiki was about to say something important and Emily just barged in! Argh!_

"Oi," she said, walking up to her friend, her glances alternating between Ichigo and Byakuya, "Why are you so tense, guys? All's good?"

"It's fine," Kuchiki said firmly, not looking at her, "I should probably go."

"No!", she protested, pulling on his arm, "Come on Byakuya, you said you'd spend the night!'

"I do not have any clean clothes for tomorrow," was Ichigo's professor lame excuse.

Ichigo wanted to roll his eyes and gag. _What a child.__  
_

Emily apparently saw right through his excuse as well and chuckled. "I have some of your clothes here too," she said, kissing him on the cheek, "And if they are not perfectly ironed, I'll iron them for you first thing in the morning, okay?"

Ichigo knew that his professor's stubborn heart had melted inside his chest – whose wouldn't? – by the rare grin that adorned his already handsome face. _Wow. __His professor looked so much different when he smiled._

"Okay."

"Well then!", Ichigo announced, clapping his hands together and two pairs of eyes focused on him, "I should be going then, I have anatomy class first thing in the morning and the professor is very punctual…"

Emily giggled and, god forbid, Kuchiki Byakuya chuckled along. "See you tomorrow, Mr. Kurosaki," the brunet said, patting Ichigo on the shoulder.

_Wow. Love really changes people at times._

"Nine twenty eight, sir, tardiness will not be forgiven!", he called over his shoulder and headed towards the door to put on his shoes. As usual, Emily followed him to escort him out.

"See? He's really not a bad person," she said, smiling.

"Tell him that he should smile more," Ichigo replied, straightening up and fixing the scarf around his neck, "He looks more handsome."

Emily quirked an eyebrow and the smile that followed was evil, mischievous. _Uh-oh.  
_  
"Soooo, crush on your anatomy professor Ichigo?"

_Emily, you blind weirdo._

"I don't think I've ever heard anything _wronger_ in my life."

She laughed. "Smartass. You know I'm just playing," she said, ruffling his hair. It was somehow comical that she had to stand on her toes to reach the top of his head.

All of a sudden, her face went all serious, apologetic somehow. "Hey, and I'm sorry for going all nasty bitch on you the other day," she said, her voice small, embarrassed.

Ichigo stared at her in confusion for a few seconds but then grinned. "It okay," he assured her, "Each day is not the same as the previous one."

Emily nodded, smiling a little. "Still, I want to apologize."

"Apology accepted, my Lady," he bowed down respectfully and added, "Now if you excuse me, I must go."

"See you honey," she said kindly, obviously feeling a little lighter, "Tomorrow."

"It's a plan."

**XXXX**

**Dear Lord, Ichigo your goddamned smart mouth is gonna getcha in so much trouble one day. It apparently wasn't enough of a lesson that Grimmjow nearly killed ya.**

**So, I had a sudden change of heart about the order of the chapters. I don't know if I'm gonna entertain it just yet. I****t partially depends on you guys; do you want to see more of Grimmjow's inner world? I can't promise you that it will be very long though.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**Queen.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh shit, I can be forgetful some times. Last time, I forgot to thank all of you people that reviewed so... I'm doing it now! Thanks :D**

**This chapter is what I was talking to you about. It came out so naturally.**

**Well... You'll see. **

**Disclaimer; I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. However I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

* * *

_I broke it all and I put it to the test,_

_Put your hand in mine and feel this emptiness,_

_There's no beat in my chest, 'cause there's nothing left,_

_No it ain't goodbye, _

_It's a last caress._

_What's another dream, y__ou can hardly sleep._

_Can you believe bad things only happen to me?_

_God knows one day you will finally see,_

_That scars will heal but were meant to bleed._

_Do you realize I would lie for you,_

_Please have my last breath, I would die for you!_

_I know I'm no good but my heart beats true._

_You know I'm gonna fight,_

_Though I might be scared to lose..._

_You took me in and I fucked it up again_

_An empty promise, no, I won't pretend!_

_'Cause in the end we need someone to solve them._

_Nobody can fix me if I'm part of the problem..._

_- Hollywood Undead, "Believe" - _

* * *

**XXXX**

It was one of those beautiful days again; the sky had this clear blue color, not littered by a single puffy cloud, the sun was shining bright and warm and all kinds of birds singing their happiness about the good weather.

However, _he_ vehemently hated the good weather. It made him feel oddly contradictory simply because inside his soul it was always raining; this black disgusting rain infinitely showered him, thick like molasses, sticky and wet as he progressively drowned in it.

He reached for the front pocket of his backpack, where he stashed his cigarettes. He took one out, placed it between his lips, lit it and breathed in the dirty air.

_Why was he smoking again?_

_Oh yeah; his self-destructive tendencies had hit red once more._

He should have been at school at the moment, studying and paying attention into being an active member of society, a theoretically "correct" human being. _Fuck that shit_. He hated school; he hated the propaganda, all these rich-ass peers of his who were definitely going to destroy society one day, not improve it. He hated all those stuck-up and pretentious bitches who were after his dick and his popularity - because of course he was popular, _l__ook at him_. But most of all he hated the teachers, yeah. All of them. They were simply a bunch of nosy motherfuckers, rubbing their knowledge in their students' faces as if... As if they were fucking Gods that knew everything. They teach shit about algebra and literature but they never teach the most important thing.

_How to get stronger. And, no, he didn't mean in a physical way._

He closed his eyes and swallowed the bile rising in his throat. _Damn, he was losing them faster than he'd planned_. He was trying, he really was, but he still wasn't strong enough to face them. His powerful fist wouldn't do for the rest of his life.

Speaking of fists, his mind travelled one day back, when he had fought with this asshole... _What was his name again? Kuro... Something? Kuro... Oh yeah._ Kurosaki. The orange haired son of a bitch that both his mother and baby sister seemed to have a major crush on. _What the fuck was so special about this smartass anyway_? How did he so easily busted into their lives and made both Emily and Emma smile so much more than they used to?

Why couldn't _he_ make them smile so happily? It was supposed to be _his_ job, right? Not some stranger's.

Okay, he should give Kurosaki some credit. The motherfucker had one hell of a punch; even after a day, his abdomen hurt like a menopausal bitch, not to mention that his wrist was also killing him. _The fucker nearly broke it.  
_

To be honest, he was kind of impressed too; the orange haired man looked kind of weak and soft, however those brown eyes of his could literally pierce through like a fucking knife. In all his eighteen years, the blunet had never seen someone with such fire in their eyes.

There was Kurosaki's smart mouth too. _Oh, how much he wanted to just grab that tongue and cut it out..._ Kurosaki had a big mouth, bigger than his own damn height and that apparently got him into trouble more than a couple of times, if how easily he encountered the flying fists was any indication.

_"And you go back into being an asshole that gets off by cause his family pain."_

Blue eyes slowly slid open and stared blankly at the blue sky. _That_ had hurt. More than the punch, more than anything. It had hurt because it was true. He _knew_ that he was hurting his family by isolating himself like this but he had to get stronger first in order to face them once again and not cringe in shame for his inexperience.

_The past was one hell of a burden._

_Talk about it? Ask for fucking advice?_ Hell no. To show his weakness in front of the people he wanted to protect? How were they going to believe in him and respect him if he did that?

Yet... Time was running out. He had to act fast or he'd lose them for good. And the latter he didn't even want to think about it.

Sighing in defeat, he threw away the now finished cigarette and sat up. He ran his large hand through his blue hair and gritted his teeth. _He wanted to write. _

_Shit was bad whenever he had the urge to write his emotions on a piece of paper_.

Reaching for his backpack, he pulled out one of his school notebooks and a pen and got to work. He didn't have to put effort into it, the words spilled on their own on the white page.

_Life is a pain in the ass. People oversimplify it, adorning it with posh words, songs, poems. It makes one wonder, have they ever lived life? Or they were simply on E when they mustered up all this crap?_

_Life sucks._

_Life hurts._

_Life hurts the people I love._

_Life hurts _me_._

_I am in pain._

_Heroes do not exist. They were all meaningless, distant figures from our childhood, lies the elders forcefully fed us to make us believe in something beyond our reach, some kind of an over-estimated utopia._

_Even I believed in heroes once. I stopped believing when my world crumbled into the ground to form my mother's crying face and bruised body._

_There are also these people that do not want to be saved. They take the beating with a smile on their face. Those are the ones you want to protect the most._

_Their biggest smile hides the biggest and most painful scars. In both body and soul. Wounds that ooze blood but you can't do anything to heal them because she doesn't want you to._

_She gently places a hand over your tiny one and says, "Time will heal me."_

_What a bunch of bullshit. When you cry at nights, assuming that no one can hear you, where does all your courage go then?_

_Lies. Beautiful lies. But beneath lies the ugly, black sky._

_I must find a way to save her. To protect her from the angry rain._

_But who's gonna save _me_?_

The last part he erased it as soon as he wrote it. _Not the right time to be a pussy_, he mused and closed the notebook, throwing it back into the bag. He sighed again and scratched the back of his neck.

_He should go home. Before his mother and sister returned._

_He couldn't stand the pain in their eyes anymore. The pain he was causing. _

_Wait... Just wait a little longer._

Yeah. That was the plan.

**XXXX**

******The song I have at the begining of this chapter is not mine; it is composed and performed by a band very dear to me, Hollywood Undead. I claim no copyright. I was listening to it and I immediately thought of Grimmjow. I believe it describes his situation extremely well.**

**Well? **

**Queen.**


	9. Chapter 9

***shoos away Grimmjow's negative vibes* Okay people! A lot were somehow explained in the last chapter, weren't they? Grimmjow is so confused alright but for now, let's look a little bit at the other characters of the story... Yes, yes I know, I should just sit my ass down and write the damn Grimmichi part BUT I ain't gonna do that just yet, okay? I think the rest of the characters deserve some of the spotlight as well. Also, I need to give Grimm some time to think.**

**So, enjoy the ride!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. But I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**XXXX**

_One week later.  
_  
It was an unusually quiet Friday evening at the Jaegerjaques apartment. Little Emma was seated right next to him on the white couch, quietly reading a book about bears – how unusual – while Ichigo was texting with Renji and Shinji. Renji was telling him all about how he and another cute guy from a bar went "happy-happy" the previous night, while Shinji was whining and bitching about not being able to find a proper model to try on the new dress he had designed.

What was even more unusual was the fact that Emily also took part in their little company; however, she had excused herself to the kitchen to fix dinner. Although Ichigo had not any apparent reason to be there, Emily had suggested he spent the night at her house, "just for fun" and since Ichigo was free of tests and essays for the next week, he had agreed on his boss's special offer.

"Guys!", Emily yelled from the kitchen, making Ichigo jump a little, "Dinner's ready!"

Little Emma jumped off the couch squealing in glee – if there was something she loved more than bears, that had to be food for sure; this little girl ate twice her body weight and still didn't get fat – and Ichigo followed her, chuckling the whole way.

In the kitchen, Emily was settling down big plates filled with spaghetti carbonara and Emma was already crawling onto her chair and grasping the utensils. Her mommy however stopped her just before the little girl had dug into her food. "No-no, Emma, that's not polite, you have to wait for our guest too."

Pouting entirely too cutely, Emma let down the fork and crossed her little arms over her chest. Emily and Ichigo laughed at the same time before the blue haired woman turned her stunning blue eyes onto him.

"Take a seat, sweetie."

Nodding in agreement, Ichigo sat down on his chair, his mouth immediately water at the scent of the seemingly delicious carbonara that had soaked his olfactory receptors. Emily's cooking could definitely put many proud chefs in shame for their inexperience.

"Itadakimasu," Ichigo mumbled, pressing his hands flat together, then reaching for his fork.

"What did you just say?", Emily asked him, her blue eyes wide in confusion. Ichigo was baffled for a few seconds but then realized what was happening and laughed.

"Itadakimasu," he repeated slowly, "We say it in Japan before we start eating. It sounds really lame in English, but 'let's eat' has the closest meaning."

Both women were looking at him as if he had sprouted another head or two, before they exchanged a meaningful glance.

"Itadakimasu!", Emily chirped with a big grin, mimicking Ichigo's actions.

"Itadakimasu!", Emma giggled, her tiny hands pressing together.

Ichigo outright laughed like never before, his stomach warming up with affection for the two women, feeling a little bit of a sap too for those girly emotions that suddenly invaded him. The other two soon joined him in a loud round of laughter.

"Momma, momma!", Emma called after they recovered from their fits and dug into their food, "When can we go to Japan?"

Emily swallowed her mouthful before replying to her daughter. "I don't know if we can go princess, it is too far away."

"Eeeeeeh?", Emma pouted cutely, then turning to Ichigo for salvation, "Ichi, you will take me to Japan with you, no?"

"I don't know sweetie," Ichigo said, shaking his head, "It's up to your mom."

"Momma!", Emma complained rather loudly.

Emily frowned at her daughter's stubbornness, the serious look effectively silencing the toddler. "Emma, we will see, okay? It is not a 'no', but we have to think about it first."

Little Emma nodded in understanding, but still sulked while eating her food. Ichigo had to suppress his smiles every time she glanced at him, begging him with her eyes to help her out in this situation, but unfortunately Ichigo had sided with the devil mom in this one. Still, he tried to maintain an apologetic face.

Accidentally, Ichigo glanced at his boss and saw her chewing on her lower lip rather than her food. He frowned. "You seem occupied," he said. It wasn't a question.

Emily looked up from the spot she had been aimlessly staring at and smiled weakly. "Is it so obvious?"

"What's the matter?", Ichigo asked, a little tenser now.

"No, don't worry so much," Emily rushed to explain, "It's just that…" She sighed, "Well, the other day, Byakuya asked me to go with him on one of his family meetings and I said yes but his family is like the most strict and savoir vivre people you've ever met, so now I'm having second thoughts…"

Ichigo immediately relaxed. _Thank god it didn't have to do with that idiot son again or he'd have broken something for sure. Preferably the asshole's bones._

"Why?", he asked instead.

Emily wrinkled her nose. "I don't have something appropriate to wear," she muttered, picking on her food.

Ichigo had to suppress a chuckle as well as a loud crooning sound down his throat. _God, Emily was so freaking cute when she pouted, just like her daughter!_

"So, the dressing code is what you are afraid of?", he asked instead.

"Well," Emily began, "I'm not exactly afraid but I don't want them to hate me, you know. Byakuya is really important to me and his parents are already questioning his relationship with me since I've been so... unlucky with my love life."

Ichigo scowled. "That's none of their business," he said lowly.

Emily sighed, "Yes I know but they still stick their noses into it. They nag Byakuya as well and I don't want to give him any more trouble than I already do."

She was right, Ichigo could understand her point of view. It was not that she had any secret feelings for his professor, just like Kuchiki did, but she wanted to make him feel comfortable in his domain and be a part of his life too. _Fair enough._

"So you wanna be pretty for him?", Ichigo asked, a teasing smile appearing on his face when Emily blushed.

"I wouldn't put it that way," she mumbled petulantly, "But something remotely close to that."

Ichigo smiled brightly. If Kuchiki was there to hear that, Emily would probably be in her bedroom with much, much lesser clothes. Then suddenly, the thought of his anatomy professor in the throes of passion with his boss invaded his mind and had Ichigo blushing internally, scolding himself for having such inappropriate thoughts.

"Emily," he began again. _He had grown accustomed to calling her by her first name_. "Do you love professor Kuchiki?"

Emily stared at him, blinking in confusion. "Of course I love him, he is my best friend."

"No I mean the other kind of love. The kind you want to have something more than just friendship," Ichigo explained and was shocked by how much his boss blushed.

_Huh? Hit a sensitive spot, Mrs. Jaegerjaques?_

"Wha-What are you saying Ichigo?", she stuttered, laughing nervously, "I don't love him that way, it's-it's just… No-no, Byakuya had always been my best friend so-so this kind of relationship with him would be wrong!"

"Why would that be wrong?", Ichigo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ichi's right mommy," little Emma intervened, making her presence known after the whole while she stayed silent, "Why is wrong to love Bya-Bya? You always say that no matter who you love, it is not wrong. Besides," the little girl added with a smile, "Bya-Bya is really nice, he always reads me stories and he is smart, so why don't you marry him?"

Ichigo laughed again, both at the little girl's proposal but also st the renewed round of blushing of the mother. "See? Even your daughter scolds you."

"I-I can't possibly... _Date_ Byakuya, you two!", the blue haired woman said a tad louder, "And even if I did want to, he-he is still in love with his first wife!"

Ichigo's eyebrows reached his orange hairline at the shock. "Kuchiki was married?"

"Yeah," Emily said, "He was married to Hisana but she died out of lung cancer seven years ago."

_Okay that was a shocker. Kuchiki Byakuya was fully in love with Emily, everybody could see that! So why the hell had he gone and married another person? Wasn't he in love with Emily then? _

"He is still in love with her, I think," Emily repeated, as if trying to convince herself.

"Hmm," Ichigo hummed, "I wouldn't be so sure…"

Emily blue eyes widened and she stared at Ichigo. "Do you know something that I don't?", she asked, looking expectant yet a little terrified. Ichigo wanted to smile like a cat that got the milk but he maintained his usual straight face.

"I don't know," he lied, "Why don't we find out though?"

"How?" Both mother and daughter asked at the same time.

Ichigo's grin turned mischievous. "I have a plan," he said, reaching for his phone in his pocket. Pressing the second person on his speed dial, Ichigo adjusted the device on his ear, his gaze alternating between Emma's and Emily's expectant ones. Ichigo however waited in silence until the other end of the line clicked.

"Hola, Ichigo!", Shinji greeted, "Where do I owe tha pleasure?"

"Hey Shin," Ichigo said, grinning at Emily's priceless face, "Have you found your model for the dress you designed yet?"

Shinji whined loudly. "Ichigo, I just toldja tha' I didn't have any girl good enough to wear this dress! A' course I haven't found her yet!"

"What's your dress's color?", Ichigo asked. Shinji was silent before answering, his voice suspicious.

"Royal blue. Why ya ask Ichigo, yer creepin' me out."

Ichigo grinned at his boss whose eyes were at the size of dinner plates by now. _Yup, she knew his plan already._

"I have found the perfect model for you."

Then line went silent for a few moments before Shinji spoke again. "Who?"

"My boss."

Shinji this time squealed loudly. "Yer boss?! Fuck, yes Ichi, this is goin' ta be awesome!"

"So," Ichigo mused, "When do you want us?"

"Tomorrow, eight am. My place. Don't be late."

"We won't," Ichigo said and the line went dead.

**XXXX**

"I can't believe I actually followed you here," the blue haired woman mumbled sulkily under her breath but Ichigo heard her loud and clear.

"Don't worry," he assured her, "Shinji is a good guy. A little overzealous and overdramatic but he means no harm."

At that, Ichigo was already pressing Shinji's doorbell, eight o' clock sharp, inwardly cackling maliciously at how nervous Emily looked. It seemed like she had entertained the thought of her being together with Kuchiki Byakuya a little bit more than she would normally do, if the dark circles under her eyes were any indication.

Few seconds later after the doorbell rang, Ichigo heard hurried footsteps approaching the front door before snapping it open.

"Ichigo!", Shinji shrieked and pulled Ichigo in a bear hug. Shinji was as skinny as a snake and appeared weak but the motherfucker had the grip of a vice.

"Shinji, you're choking me," Ichigo said breathlessly.

"Mah, mah, I'm sorry," Shinji said dismissively, then his golden eyes focused onto Ichigo's left and stayed there a few seconds before widening.

"Oh. My. God," Shinji uttered slowly, "Is she yer boss Ichigo?"

"Yup," Ichigo agreed proudly, motioning his hand at a nervously smiling Emily, "Shinji, this is my boss and friend, Emily Jaegerjaques. Emily, this is my friend and wanna-be clothes designer, Shinji Hirako."

"Nice to meet you, Shinji," she said, offering her delicate hand at the blond. Shinji grasped the appendage in both hands, bringing it to his lips and kissing the top.

"Yer tha most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Mrs. Emily," the blond said, his face looking dazed, "Fer the first time in my life, I wish I wasn't gay."

Emily giggled and blushed while Ichigo's eyebrows reached his hairline. _Wow. That was some complement coming from a gay man, especially Shinji._

"Thank you sweetie," Emily said kindly. "And please call me just Emily."

"And ta think I was takin' pride inta bein' gay since my momma's womb," the designer muttered mostly to himself. The he shook his head and grinned. "C'mon in!"

"After you, my Lady," Ichigo said, bowing formally. She punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"You really need to stop doing that, it makes me feel weird," she muttered and stepped into Shinji's house, following right after the now excited blond.

Shinji suddenly turned around, startling them both. "Can I getcha anythin'? Water, tea? I've got vodka too but's too early in tha mornin'…"

"I'll take the vodka," Ichigo said, a teasing grin on his face, "I have to put up with you all morning, I'll need a drink definitely." That nasty little comment earned him a kick at the shin accompanied with a fierce glare. Ichigo chuckled breathlessly, holding his hurt leg.

"Don't listen to him Shinji, he is just being silly," Emily intervened, after doing her own amount of playful glaring, "Could you get me some water please?"

"Comin' right up, dear."

Emily turned to Ichigo as soon as Shinji was out of hearing range, her eyes glinting in amusement. "You're so mean sometimes."

Ichigo chuckled. "I'm honest; it's just the truth that sucks." She whacked him at the back of his head, but she couldn't suppress the smile on her face. At that moment, Shinji returned handing the glass of water over to Emily.

"Well," the artist said and clapped his hands, "Shall we get started?"

**XXXX**

"I don't know."

Ichigo rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that morning. During the whole time with Shinji, Emily had been in nothing else but in denial. "It doesn't suit me" or "it makes me look fat" or even, "I am too old!". Ichigo knew that women were a little more difficult than men when it came to clothes but the blue haired woman was beyond that point. Even Shinji had sighed in indignantion in the end.

"Emily, we both told you that Shinji's dress looked perfect on you," Ichigo tried to reason her, "Why do you keep doubting yourself?"

Blue eyes locked with his nut-brown, the uncertainty evident in them. "Isn't it too revealing?"

Ichigo sighed. "You have it good enough to reveal it."

She looked outside of the bus's window in consideration. "I'll think about it," she finally concluded. Ichigo grinned.

"You have three weeks in front of you to decide," he assured her, patting her head. She swatted his hand away.

"I'm still your boss you know."

"You feel more like my friend than my boss," Ichigo said earnestly, shocking even himself from the sudden revelation.

Emily smiled kindly at him. "Yeah, I feel the same way."

They stayed in silence the rest of the ride to the Jaegerjaques house, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Usually with other people, Ichigo would have a problem staying silent but with Emily he felt at ease. She was like a flowing river; calm and gentle, peaceful to be around.

"You know," she said on their way up to her apartment, "I never asked you what kind of doctor you want to become."

Ichigo pressed his lips together in consideration. "I don't really know," he said in the end, "I guess a neurologist, like you. I love the brain and the nerves."

Emily's eyes brightened up at the prospect and smiled brightly. "I'd love to have you as my rookie," she said.

"I'm not sure I'd like that," Ichigo teased, earning a half-hearted slap at the back of his head.

"Meanie," she said and opened the door to her home.

Come to think of it, Ichigo had been spending more time in the Jaegerjaques' rather than his own house. He felt the Jaegerjaques' house like his home more than anything. _Weird, wasn't it?_ He'd been working there for two-three weeks and he was already a part of a family. Or so he felt.

_It didn't matter_, he mused, _As long as Emily needed him, he'd be there. She was his friend after all._

_Ichigo protected his friends no matter what._

**XXXX**

**Another thing; Grimmjow is not going to kill himself alright? This is drama okay but not a tragedy. I'm sorry if I accidentally misled you.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Queen.**


	10. Chapter 10

**So... It is a long one. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. However, I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**ΧΧΧΧ**

_Three weeks later._

Saturday had finally arrived. _And yes_, it was the very evening Emily would spend some of her time with the notorious Kuchiki relatives! Unfortunately, she was so absurdly nervous about it, she wouldn't stop pacing around the house. Ichigo rolled his eyes at her.

"Emily seriously, chill the hell down," he said, grasping her shoulders to stop her. She looked up at him and huffed, her blue eyes troubled.

"I can't," she muttered, "If you knew just how bad Byakuya's family can get, you'd be scared too!"

Ichigo sighed and pulled her into his arms. "I don't believe that Kuchiki would ever leave you alone in this," he murmured softly.

Her slim arms slowly wrapped around his middle. "Yeah… You're probably right."

"Well then," he concluded, breaking their arm lock, "Go make yourself pretty, he will be here in half hour, and you know exactly how punctual he is."

Emily slapped her forehead, her eyes going wide. "Shit!", she cursed, "I'd forgotten about the time!"

"Mommy!", Emma scolded as she passed them by, holding Martin and a bunch of coloring pencils, "Don't curse in the house!"

It was somehow comical that the little girl was scolding the adult and not the usual other way round. It only served to make Emily chuckle and relax a little.

"I'm sorry sweetie, it won't happen again," she apologized then turned to Ichigo, "I'm going."

She turned on her heel and walked away.

"Took you long enough," Ichigo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. _He really couldn't get females, let alone handle them. Men were much simpler_.

"Ichugo," Emma called, pulling on his shirt, "Will you draw me a panda?"

_Kids too._

Ichigo's heart melted at the huge, pleading blue eyes and nodded. "Okay sweetheart."

Emma was definitely aware of his weakness on her eyes and she took advantage of it the whole way.

_Little demon._

**XXXX**

His fingers were flying over the guitar's strings, his head subtly moving in sync with the music blasting from his headphones.

_I have screamed until my veins collapsed,_

_I've waited as my times elapsed,_

_Now all I do is live with so much fate._

_I wished for this, I bitched at that_

_I've left behind this little fact,_

_You cannot kill what you did not create._

_I've gotta say what I've gotta say,_

_And then I swear I'll go away,_

_But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise..._

_I guess I'll save the best for last,_

_My future seems like one big past,_

_You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice._

_I push my fingers into my eyes!_

_It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache,_

_If the pain goes on,  
_

_I'm not gonna make it!_

_Oh, how much he loved Slipknot, especially this particular song, "Duality"_. It was so intense, so full of energy and passion, it helped him blew off some of the steam that had gathered in his soul the past three weeks.

_"And you go back into being an asshole that gets off by causing his family pain."_

He was angry. Yes, he was angry.

Not depressed or melancholic anymore. _  
_

He was pissed. Pissed beyond belief.

The truth was choking him.

Kurosaki's words did not leave his mind once. They were wrong. Kurosaki was _wrong. _He didn't know shit about what he was talking about!

The song had finally ended and his anger slowly subsided. He took a deep breath and tugged his blue hair with both of his hands. He wanted to scream, to let the bubble in his chest burst and reveal the contents of his tainted soul, he wanted to fix Kurosaki's opinion about the situation.

_He wanted to teach him a lesson._

No, he didn't give two shits about what Kurosaki thought of him. He knew he was an asshole, he'd heard that a lot of times in the past. He simply wanted that "perfect" motherfucker, who apparently had never gone through anything difficult in his life, to understand what _he'd_ been through...

_No damn it. He wouldn't lose to someone like Kurosaki._

**XXXX**

Ichigo was in the process of finishing the panda-bear Emma got him to draw when suddenly the doorbell rang, startling both of them. Emma was the first one to recover though and ran to the door, jumping excitedly. Ichigo followed soon after in a hurry; this girl had the bad habit of opening the door to anyone.

He managed to get her when her little hands had just reached for the doorknob. "Never open the door to strangers Emma; we've said it a million times before," Ichigo scolded.

"Sorry," she pouted.

With an exasperated sigh, Ichigo opened the door and promptly felt his eyes bugging out of his head. At the doorstep stood his anatomy professor looking like Ichigo had never seen him look before; wearing a full blown, black suit. Black slacks, black jacket, black tie and a white button up shirt to make a contrast.

_He looked absolutely gorgeous. Good enough to eat._

Ichigo shook his head from the inappropriate thoughts and smiled at his professor. "Welcome, professor Kuchiki. Please come in," he said, showing the way into the house with his hand. But Emma had other plans.

"Bya-Bya!", she squealed and lunged at the man, wrapping her thin arms around his middle, "I've missed you!"

"Hey little Emma," Kuchiki said kindly, lifting the little girl up in his arms and kissing her lovingly. _Wow_, Ichigo thought, _She wasn't his child but he definitely looked like the perfect father for her._ He grinned at his thoughts.

_Victory._

"Bya-Bya, I wanna show you the panda Ichugo drew for me, comie, comie!", Emma said excitedly and squirmed in his arms.

Kuchiki laughed, the sound completely foreign to Ichigo's ears, "Okay, okay, let's go," he said and stepped into the house, nodding curtly at Ichigo on the way.

Ichigo followed them into the house, studying them in silence as they interacted. Emma was all over the poor professor, however, the man didn't seem to mind one bit. Instead he was smiling in a way Ichigo had never seen him before which of course showed how much he loved this little, crazy girl.

And how much he loved Emma's mother too.

_Those things went together after all. _

Ichigo sighed. It was the second time in his life to witness such intense emotion; Kuchiki Byakuya loved Emily just as much as Ichigo's father - still - loved his deceased mother. It was the same; okay, with tiny small differences – Ichigo's father was an ape-shit idiot while Kuchiki was serious and collected – but all in all it was the same picture.

"Hey guys," a soft voice spoke from behind, making three heads snap up, "I'm sorry I'm late."

Ichigo grinned broadly at the sight of his boss; she was wearing Shinji's royal blue dress, which was decorated lavishly with Shinji's favorite silky lace. The masterpiece reached her mid-thigh – that's why she had been complaining it was too revealing – and hugged her curves perfectly, also revealing a part of the creamy white skin on her arms and chest. On her feet stood a pair of black high heels, another suggestion from Shinji.

_She was stunning._

Speaking of stunning, Ichigo then turned to look at his anatomy professor, suppressing a small chuckle at the man's priceless face. Kuchiki's eyes were wide and round in admiration, glowing with what Ichigo could name as affection and lust, lust being a tad more dominant. After gaping at Emily for a few seconds, Kuchiki stood up and walked towards her, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

"You look amazing," he said quietly. Ichigo wanted to cackle when he saw how much his boss blushed.

"T-Thanks," she stuttered, averting her gaze like a teenager, "You do too."

At that moment Ichigo felt someone tug on his shirt and looked down to see Emma reaching out for him. He picked her up in his arms and she went straight to his ear.

"They are so in love," she whispered. Ichigo looked at her in astonishment; how could such a young person figure out love so easily? That, however, didn't stop them from smiling at each other and giggling in conspiracy.

"Yeah, they are," Ichigo agreed silently.

"What are you guys laughing about?", Emily said with a frown.

"Nothing," Emma and Ichigo said simultaneously with and innocent grin. Kuchiki was also looking at them, his face slack and expressionless as ever but his eyes were digging murderous holes into Ichigo's skull. They were accusatory too, as if Kuchiki was yelling, "So it was you!" _  
_

_Damn straight it was me. Take the hint dude, make her yours. _

"We should probably get going," Kuchiki said, turning her attention on Ichigo's boss once again. She smiled shyly at him.

"Sure."

Watching them go, Ichigo felt like a mother bird watching her babies learn how to fly. It was a mushy feeling, sappy, but to hell with it. If this was going to get his boss and his professor together like he hoped, then so be it. _Playing matchmaker wasn't so bad after all. _

"Ichi," Emma murmured, rousing Ichigo from his reverie, "Let's play something."

Ichigo smiled at the little demon of cuteness. "Sure baby."

"Let's play bear family," she chirped happily, "I'll be momma bear and you'll be my baby!"

"Don't forget to bring Martin," Ichigo added, putting her down. Her blue eyes widened and smacked her forehead.

"You're right!", she exclaimed, "How could I forget!" And with that, she went off, running to her bedroom.

Ichigo absently followed her with his eyes, his mind though was on different things; basically on Emily and Kuchiki. He was really curious to see what was going to happen, the anticipation was nearly killing him. He wondered whether his professor will finally confess his feelings to Emily after seeing her so pretty for him.

_Secretly, Ichigo was positive that something good was going to happen… He had a hunch._

At that moment, Emma returned from her bedroom with her white teddy bear in one hand, yelling at Ichigo to come to the living room so that they can play and have more space. Taking a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come – Emma was really strict as a mother – Ichigo joined the little girl to her personal world, where she seemed to be happy.

He smiled. _If Emma was happy and Emily was happy as well, then that was all he could ask for._

**XXXX**

After a long session of bear-family play, Ichigo was glad that he could finally sit down and give his inner nerd the knowledge it'd been craving. He was starting to feel the side effects of playing with Emma, though – that little demon always, _always,_ knew how to exhaust him mercilessly; his eyelids felt droopy and heavy, falling shut against his will. _He shouldn't sleep though, until Emily was back_. Besides, he was a little behind on his anatomy so he had to catch up.

Ichigo glanced up from his anatomy book at the clock, his eyebrows furrowing. _It was midnight already. Emily was really late._

There was a long sigh from somewhere on Ichigo's left, which made the orange haired man focus on the sleeping form of little Emma, a smile immediately spreading across his face.

The little baby-demon was fast asleep and curled against Ichigo's side like a coala, her tiny hands holding firmly on his shirt. She must have fallen asleep while watching the late Spongebob episode.

Ichigo petted her head affectionately, careful not to wake her up. _He loved this little girl so much as if she was his little sister or even his daughter_.

Emma mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep and shifted, and Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle quietly. After deeming this as a long break, he turned back to his book, and lost himself in the world of Anatomy. He didn't look up or registered any movement in his periphery until the couch next to him shifted.

Expecting Emily and her motherly smile, he was startled when the face of his boss's blue haired son came into view. The boy wasn't even looking at him, he was just staring blankly at the television, yet Ichigo could feel all the hairs of his body standing straight, his mind traveling back to their little encounter three weeks ago.

_He hadn't seen the boy ever since. Why was he here now? Did he want revenge? Fuck that'd be bad. Ichigo had recently got rid of the stupid turtlenecks._

"Yo," the blue haired boy said, his voice deep and throaty in other words sexy as hell.

"Hey," Ichigo mumbled and when those bone melting blue eyes locked with his, he wanted to squirm anxiously in his seat. Not wanting to wake up Emma, he forced his system to relax. _Why the hell was he so nervous in the first place?_

_Maybe because he feared for his life?_

The youngster stared persistently at Ichigo's side, where Emma was fast asleep and in Ichigo's utter surprise, the boy didn't glare at the little girl. On the contrary actually; there was pain in his eyes, an undeniable longing but before Ichigo could open his mouth to speak, Jaegerjaques had glanced down at the book in Ichigo's lap.

"Whatchu studyin'?"

Ichigo blinked, stunned by how casual the other man sounded, but soon gathered his wits. "Uh, anatomy."

The boy leaned closer to get a better look at the page Ichigo was currently reading, his scent washing over Ichigo and stimulating every single one of his olfactory bulbs. The oranget's eyes rolled at the back of his head. _What the fuuuuuuck?_

The blue haired rebel smelled divine; a mixture of cinnamon gum and Irish soap.

All Ichigo wanted was to bury his nose into the thickly chorded neck, which looked entirely too enticing compared to their previous unfortunate encounter, and breathe the mouthwatering scent for all his life. However, he didn't think the irritable boy would appreciate it so he kept his desires in place. Instead, he noticed a small, lopsided gothic tattoo of the number six at the side of the column, right behind the boy's ear. Ichigo quirked an eyebrow. _How the hell had he not noticed that before?_

"Sucks fer ya," the boy suddenly said, bringing Ichigo back from his thoughts.

"Ah, it's not so bad," Ichigo explained, chuckling nervously, "After a while you get the hang of it."

The boy wrinkled his perfectly straight nose. "Which year are ya in?"

"Second."

The young man slouched lower in the couch, getting comfortable, turning his attention on the TV. "So," he began again after a moment of silence, "Doctor huh?"

Ichigo looked at his book, feeling more than just a little uncomfortable. _Well, you couldn't blame him really, could you? The previous time he had seen the boy, they were at each other's throats and now… Now, all that fire was gone and they were talking as if nothing had happened._

"Yeah… What about you?"

"Me?", the boy asked then shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. It ain't that I got many choices at my disposal."

Ichigo frowned. "Why do you say that?"

The blue haired boy laughed humorlessly and turned his head to look at Ichigo again. "I can give ya plenty a' reasons; I ain't a good student, I hate studyin' n' I hate people tellin' me what to do."

Ichigo wanted to laugh and smack some sense into the teenager but unfortunately, he didn't have the authority to do so. _Heh_, he'd figured that the youngster had a problem with obeying the authorities from day one, but as an overall first impression, all Ichigo could see was a spoiled brat, too full of himself, that didn't want to take life seriously.

"Is there at least one thing you like to do?", Ichigo asked, his tone dripping sarcasm.

If the boy understood the sarcasm or not, Ichigo couldn't tell because all the emotions were suddenly drained from his beautiful face, his expressive blue eyes went dead. Ichigo fidgeted in his seat, thinking that maybe he had gone a little too far with his cynicism.

"I like music," the blue haired boy suddenly said.

Ichigo's stance instantly relaxed and he gave a sigh of relief. "And from what I've heard when you play, you're good at it. Why don't you become a musician?"

The younger man snickered. "That ain't somethin' I can base my life on. No one guarantees I'll have food in my plate fer the rest o' my life."

"So you're doing this for money?" Ichigo couldn't help but wonder just how deep this boy's selfishness went.

The boy gave him a look as if he had sprouted another head. "Are you fuckin' serious? I need a job that can pay the bills 'cause I want a family with kids. Lotsa kids."

That had dropped like a bomb. Was it too rude that Ichigo stared incredulously at the other man for more than just a few seconds? Actually, he hadn't realized he had been staring until twin blue eyebrows marred together angrily. "What?"

Ichigo cleared his throat and chuckled. "Sorry, I was a little dumfounded. I never took ya for a family person."

The boy frowned. "Why?"

"Well, for starters, you don't even seem to love your current family. Both your mother and sister love you unconditionally and yet you…" Ichigo stopped, trying to think of a way to say it politely, "… You ignore them."

The boy's blue eyes turned stony by the time Ichigo finished his sentence. "Ya know nothin'," he growled.

Scowling, his temper beginning to rise, Ichigo cackled humorlessly. _That fucking brat_. "Oh yeah?", he taunted, "Enlighten me then."

His boss's son gritted his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't deserve their love or concern."

Ichigo raised one eyebrow, caught all the way off guard by the answer he received. "Come again?"

The boy seethed and squirmed in his seat, not answering immediately but Ichigo had the patience of a saint. He'd wait until the boy was ready because what the blunet had just said reminded him a lot of-

"I don't deserve their love. I'm good fer nothin'," the boy finally said, interrupting Ichigo's thoughts.

"Why do you say that?", Ichigo pressed, all mood for teasing and sarcasm long gone.

The younger man chuckled darkly. "Ever felt that yer not capable of protecting the ones ya love?"

Ichigo's heart constricted at the memory of his mother laying down on the street, her blood all over the place while he stood by her side, unable to do nothing but call her name with tears in his eyes. He swallowed, pushing the memory back. _He knew exactly what the boy was talking about_.

"Yeah," he croaked.

"I've seen my mother breakin' down many times because of some stupid asshole that betrayed her and all the times I ain't do nothin' to prevent it."

Ichigo shrunk some more in his seat, feeling smaller every single second. _He had been so wrong about the Jaegerjaques boy._

They actually were, he dared to say, quite similar.

At Ichigo's silence, the boy continued. "I was jus' a baby when my scum of a father decided it was a good idea to leave my mom alone. I was too young to teach 'im a lesson but when the same thing happened with Em's father five years ago, I taught the bastard a lesson he ain't gonna ferget till he rots in his coffin." There was such livid disgust and hatred in the other's voice, Ichigo felt his body shudder involuntarily and he was unable to utter a single word. It only served the blue haired rebel to keep on talking.

"But... But that's not what kills me the most..."

The orange haired man frowned in confusion. _There was more?_ "Then what is it?"

The blue haired boy glanced suspiciously at Ichigo but then sighed, looking back at his laced fingers on his lap. "Mom had," he started, "Mom had a boyfriend once. They'd been two years or so together, all roses and shit. We were happy. But happiness in my life doesn't last for too long..." The boy swallowed, bracing his weight on his elbows and buried his face into both his hands.

"He started drinkin' and doin' drugs and treated mom like shit. But mom wasn't intimidated by it, hell, she is never intimidated by anything, up until the day he started _beating_ her." By the end of the sentence, the boy's voice had turned into a viscious hiss that had Ichigo's stomach twirling in disgust.

_How dare that bastard hurt Emily?_

"One time, I saw him hurting mom and I couldn't bear it; I ran to help her. I was six. Small, meek, useless. The fucker was able to push me away easily but, in a way, I was thankful because his attention was now on me and not mom. He started walking towards me, his face murderous and raised his foot too kick me."

Ichigo's heart clenched painfully in his chest when he noticed the subtle tremors shaking the blunet's body. He opened his mouth to stop the boy but the other caught up faster.

"I remember that I had closed my eyes at that point," he said with a small, painful smile, "I _knew_ it was gonna hurt. I dare to say that I was scared too. But then..." The smile left his face, his frame went rigid, "Then heat embraced me."

Ichigo frowned again in confusion, his heart still banging in his chest from the anticipation. _Then heat embraced him_?

_Oh. Shit. _

The revelation was quick as lighting, striking Ichigo's entire body and brain.

"Emily," he muttered. The boy nodded without looking at him.

"I could hear the impact his kicks had on her body," the youngster continued, his voice barely a whisper, "But mom didn't make a sound. She was pulling me closer and closer to her chest, whispering that she would protect me, that I had nothing to be afraid of..." Blue eyes were wide, terrified, his large hands were pulling his blue hair mercilessly. Ichigo grasped the youngster's shoulder, the livid description of the events had made him nervous and scared too, his own memories mixing with the blunet's and paralyzing him.

The boy didn't even notice the contact.

"She was crying..." Ichigo cringed at the sound of the shaking, panicking voice progressively rising, "She was in danger and I couldn't... I couldn't...!"

"Stop!", Ichigo pleaded loudly, trying to reason the boy, "Please stop. Don't do this to yourself anymore, I understand."

_He really understood. He understood and hurt as much as the blue haired boy did._

The boy's body slowly relaxed and the blunet let out a long sigh of relief. But still, without looking at Ichigo, he continued.

"Mom's been… Different ever since," he said, his voice low, shaking, "She's lost all her faith in people. I can… I can still hear her cry at night…" The boy covered his eyes with his hands. "I feel so useless at times like this. I feel… I should… I should-"

"… Be able to do something," he and Ichigo said at the same time. The boy craned his neck and gave Ichigo a shocked look, which only made Ichigo chuckle nervously, folding the edges of his textbook.

_It'd been a while since he talked about his mother, to a stranger that tried to kill him so to say._

_But... Was he a stranger after all?_

"It's the same thing I thought when my mother was stabbed before my eyes and died in my my hands. I was eight years old and I still remember it as if it was yesterday," Ichigo said. When the boy next to him stared at him in silence, he went on.

"That's why I know how you feel. My mother was dying because she protected me - she literally craddled me to her chest and took the knife in her back - and I couldn't do anything to save her."

"'M sorry."

Ichigo chanced a sideways glance at the beautiful youngster, and then looked back down at his anatomy book, sighing. "And you know which is the worst part?"

"They never blame you for what happened," the blue haired boy muttered, finishing Ichigo's sentence, as if he had read Ichigo's mind. Ichigo gave him an astonished look. However, the look went in vain because the boy was staring at his fingers on his lap again. "It's not your fault I made a mistake, mom told me."

"It's not your fault that your mother died, my dad told me."

Their eyes then locked and stayed like this for quite a while before both of them smiled. It was a gentle, comforting smile. Somehow everything was clearer now, the misunderstanding gone. Needless to say, Ichigo's heart skidded in his chest at the sight of the boy smiling; seriously, it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever set his eyes on. The boy had to do it more often.

Ichigo suddenly realized something and he frowned. "You know, I've been here two months now and your name never came up," he said. The boy barked a laugh.

"It's Grimmjow."

_Grimmjow eh? He kinda liked the way it rolled off his tongue. _Ichigo offered his hand to the boy. "Nice to finally meet you, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow grasped the hand, "You too, Kurosaki," he said.

Their hands slid apart and they both went to silent mode once again. It didn't matter, it was comforting. Ichigo had never felt that someone else out there could understand what he'd been through in the past but... _How wrong had he been? _He stared at his book, all the words and pictures meaningless to him as his mind was occupied with something entirely different.

_So much for first impressions._

"You know," Ichigo said, attracting those perfect blue eyes on him again, "I'm not in the position to tell you what to do, but because I was doing exactly what you do now, like, shutting myself off my family because I was ashamed, I know that you are hurting your family more than saving it."

Grimmjow gave him a long silent look before he sighed and closed his eyes. "I wanna get stronger," he said sternly, "I wanna get stronger and then face them. I can't do it as I am now."

"I believe that the very first step in becoming stronger is to understand your problem and face it head-on," Ichigo said with a knowing smile, "Admit it and judge who is the most trustworthy person to share it with."

"That's bullshit," Grimmjow scoffed.

"And why is it?", Ichigo asked, but he already knew the answer. He'd been thinking along the same lines too, when he was at Grimmjow's age.

"Because, isn't it wrong to show your weakness in front of the people you want to protect?"

Ichigo shook his head negatively. "Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak, Grimmjow," he said kindly, "We are not born knowing how to deflect and defend ourselves from difficulties. We need a guide; a guide to teach us the possible ways to face the trouble, but it is solely up to us whether we follow them or not. Maybe you can find your own ways too, who knows?"

There was a long while of reflective silence during which the blue haired boy stared intensely at Ichigo. The oranget wanted to twitch and squirm under the intense gaze but on the other hand, he was incredibly happy to watch Grimmjow entertain his words in his head. It made him feel good, but not in an arrogant way.

_It made him feel useful._

Finally, Grimmjow sighed and stared down at his lap again. "I... I never thought of it that way," he reluctantly admitted.

Ichigo grinned, relief washing over him in tidal waves, "It's okay," he assured the youngster, "You are young, confused, traumatized. I know from experience that sometimes, you get so absorbed in your trauma that you tend to lose the meaning of the forest for the sake of one single tree."

Grimmjow wrinkled his nose and smirked teasingly, "Ya sound like an old fuckin' man."

"Maybe I am," Ichigo chuckled, "But I like to think that as you grow older, you become wiser and more capable of protecting your loved ones."

Grimmjow stared off to a various direction, his eyebrows pulled together in thought. It was more than fine. It only meant that Ichigo's words were occupying his mind and he wasn't talking all this time to a solid wall. He patted the boy's shoulder again.

"I know it is all to much to absorb at once," Ichigo said, "But lemme tell you this; once a friend of mine told me something great, something that has marked my life ever since."

"Wha' was that?", Grimmjow asked, genuinely curious.

"You can't carry the world onto your shoulders," Ichigo repeated Renji's advice, "It is too damn heavy."

Those blue eyes suddenly filled with such emotion and Ichigo didn't know what to do with it. No, it wasn't like Grimmjow teared up – hell, that'd be awfully weird – but he saw understanding, realization. Now whether or not the blue haired boy would use the information Ichigo just gave him, Ichigo didn't know. However, the seed was definitely planted.

"You know," the orange haired man hesitantly muttered, "I misjudged you. You are not as much of a spoiled brat as I thought. Well, at least now I can explain it somehow."

Grimmjow gave him a dazzling toothy grin, blinding him temporarily.

"I ain't sure if I like ya after all," he said mischievously and laughed when Ichigo glared heatedly at him. "But I can tell yer not that much of a bossy asshole as ya were last time," he then added.

"Oi, you were asking for it, brat!", Ichigo argued, half-seriously, half-jokingly.

The blue haired boy laughed heartily, and soon Ichigo joined him as well. _This_ was good. It felt right, you know? To see the depressed boy smile like this, Ichigo thought that Emily would be delighted to see it. As for their case, they may have started off in the worst way possible but it seemed to be blossoming into something nicer. Something like a "comforting alliance", because they both suffered from similar traumas.

_It was not that whey were all roses and shit just yet. Ichigo still wanted to kick Grimmjow's ass. Big time. _

Grimmjow punched him on the shoulder with no heat. "Go back to yer studyin', nerd."

Ichigo slapped his hand away and growled.

"Be nice."

They chuckled together again and once they forced themselves to be serious, Ichigo went back to his studying, enjoying the warming companion of the blue haired boy. Grimmjow – finally he had a name – had changed the channel on the TV, setting it on a movie to his liking and kept silent as Ichigo nerded himself out.

Ichigo didn't know how much time had passed, since he was absorbed in his studies, but he was abruptly stopped when something heavy fell on his shoulder and something fuzzy tickled his ear. Astonished, he looked at his side and was shocked by the mass of blue resting on his shoulder. The oranget stayed still, his heart jumping on his tongue but when he heard Grimmjow's even breathing, he let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

Here he was, cuddled by both Jaegerjaques siblings and studying anatomy. It'd been a while since he had felt so comfortable, so cozy. Leaning his head on Grimmjow's, Ichigo soon found himself joining the other two to an unusually peaceful slumber.

**XXXX**

**Mutual respect has been built between them, at last. That's how I pictured it, at least. :P**

**Well? ^_^ I'd like to know how you feel about those revelations. But anyways, I really hope you enjoyed it.**

**Oh and the song Grimm's playing is called "Duality", by slipknot. I claim no copyright.**

**Queen.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Before you read this chapter, I'd like to tell you that Grimmjow and Ichigo are not gonna be a part of it. Why? I want to give some stage time to Emily. I came to really like this woman. I know you probably don't like her being an OC and having a major part but, eh, in this story it just happened.**

**Therefore, those who are not interested to know what happens between her and Byakuya, feel free to skip this chapter. For the others who will read it, I hope you enjoy it!**

**By the way, thank you for your wonderful reviews on the previous chapter!**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. However, I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**XXXX**

Emily wanted to shoot herself. Or maybe take one of those fancy, crystal glasses placed gracefully on the table and stab herself in the neck. In other words, she was bored to death. And Byakuya was not there to save her.

It was not that he had a choice really. The Kuchikis were the classic example of a man-held family, Hector Kuchiki being the father and their leader. Therefore, it was like a common sense for the guests – which thankfully weren't many – to split into males and females.

_How devastating._

"… Therefore I told her that she was being both unreasonable and tarnishing the pride of her family," said the woman sitting across Emily. She had grey-black hair gathered in a tight bun, her ears decorated by twin sapphire earrings, her wrists with equally expensive bracelets and her elegant beige dress to die for, if you were a vintage lover.

That was Andelinde Kuchiki for you. Byakuya's mother.

All the other female guests laughed quietly, carefully, some even hiding their faces behind lavish fans. Emily had to be the youngest woman in the whole gathering, since she was thirty six and the rest were sixty and over. However, that didn't mean most of those rich ladies were happy with their age. Some were glaring daggers at Emily, some were whispering to each other while looking at her and some others... Well let's say that some ladies had a face on their make up.

All of a sudden, Andeline's stony black eyes focused on Emily, on her face was a forced smile. "Emily, my dear," she said in her silky voice, "How are your children?"

Emily swallowed, willing herself not to start sweating. Instead she smiled, "They are growing up faster than I ever expected."

"Ah, how delightful," Byakuya's mother exclaimed, bringing her hands together as if she was applausing. But then her face twisted in a devious, sarcastic mask and Emily knew what was coming.

"Did you find a suitable partner yet?", she asked, "What I mean is, you are still very much young, you can always find a nice man, have another child and finally make a _real_ family."

_And right now I don't have a family?_, Emily thought angrily to herself, biting her tongue to prevent the poison in her mouth to come out.

"I'm perfectly happy with the current family I have," Emily said, fair and square, "Even if, with your standards, it is not considered 'real'."

Her answer raised whispers of "How disgraceful!" or "What manners did her parents teach her?" or even "What kind of hooker is Byakuya associating with?"

She ignored all of them but the hard black eyes of Byakuya's mother were now glaring at her. Andeline opened her mouth to say something when a deep, gentle voice cut her mid-sentence.

"What are you ladies talking about?"

Emily glanced up and sighed a sigh of relief. She smiled at her savior. Byakuya was looking at her, his black eyes apologetic and intense.

"Ah, nothing much, dear," Andeline lied with her fake smile, "We were simply gossiping, just like all women usually do." The other women of the group giggled obnoxiously, some of them leering at Byakuya in a very inappropriate manner. Emily couldn't blame them really. Byakuya looked positively outstanding and good enough to eat in his tailored, black suit.

He took a seat right next to her on the couch, his scent washing over her and making her swoon. _What the hell is wrong with me?_, she thought with slight panic, _Why is suddenly Byakuya so attractive to me?_ It then dawned to her and she scowled. _Damn Ichigo and the ideas he put in my head._

It was true that ever since she and Ichigo, and Emma of course, had this rather uncomfortable conversation about her and Byakuya… 'getting together', the actual thought hadn't left her mind. Not even once. Even at work, when she and Byakuya would meet for a coffee or lunch, she felt nervous and her heart rates would reach dangerous intensities. Thankfully Byakuya seemed oblivious about it.

Though... Though the idea didn't sound so bad. After all, Byakuya knew her in a way no one else in the entire world did and she trusted him blindly. He was calm and understanding, he respected her like no other man she knew. But that was Byakuya and that was his upbringing.

_What I mean is that he doesn't treat me like this because I'm special or something. Besides, he is still in love with Hisana_, she said to herself, her mood darkening at the mere thought. She then shook her head.

_Damn you Ichigo._

Emily looked up from her lap to the man sitting next to her. Byakuya was speaking about something she wasn't really paying attention to, but the way his thin lips moved as he talked was entirely too enticing…

They had apparently created a monster.

_She__ was so gonna kick Ichigo's ass when she got home._

"Emily," his voice was concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Ah, yes, yes, I'm fine!", she lied cheerfully, "I was just thinking about something." _You in my bed, for starters,_ she mused darkly.

Byakuya's long, silent stare told her that he wasn't convinced at all but he didn't press it any further, thankfully. Instead, he turned to his mother. "I'm sorry mother, what were you saying?"

Andeline sighed but smiled at her only son, "I was saying when you are going to get remarried. It's been seven years since your previous wife passed away."

Emily felt Byakuya's body stiffen next to her and she discretely squeezed his hand, just to let him know she was there. The raven haired man sighed and stared at his mother, his tone serious. "Mother, I do not wish to get married again until I have found The One. Is this clear?"

Byakuya's statement raised another round of whispering, his mother staring at him with eyes wide in astonishment. Even Emily was surprised by that answer.

_The one?_

_Good luck on that._

"Byakuya, this is not something to base your life on," his mother clipped sarcastically.

"My life is my business, mother," Byakuya said so coldly that Emily wanted to shiver; "Now if you'll excuse me, Emily and I will be going somewhere more private to speak." The man stood up swiftly, tending his hand at Emily's direction.

"My lady, will you do me the honor?", he said, a small smirk tilting his lips upwards. Emily wanted to roll on the floor and squeal like a fangirl. If she didn't know any better she'd have said that Byakuya was _flirting_ with her.

She uncrossed her legs and stood up, taking the other man's hand and smiling up to him. "Yes, my Lord." Chuckling, Byakuya lead her to the unnecessarily gigantic buffet, his hand never leaving hers.

Byakuya's hand was big and so warm and soft but it was calloused too, which made her wonder how those pieces of art would feel on her skin…

_Emily Jaegerjaques,_ she scolded herself, _Control you raging libido, for God's sake._

After so many years of being sexually inactive, one would think that Emily was not interested in sex anymore. _She had thought that too._ But those sneaky, heady emotions that seemed to be permanently asleep, were suddenly invading her core and catching Emily off guard. She had no idea how to deal with them.

Not knowing what she should really do, Emily simply followed her not-so-much-of-a-best-friend-any-longer's lead, willing herself to stay sane.

Easy to say, hard to do.

**XXXX**

He was stepping across the line of being simply a "gentleman" and Byakuya knew it but it was nearly impossible to keep his hands to himself. Not with all that delicious, creamy skin oh so temptingly revealed before his eyes.

Emily looked… There were no accurate words to describe it. When he saw her back at her house, all he wanted was for everyone to disappear while he ran his hands all over that white skin, to litter it with love bites.

Even now that she had her neck craned away from him while she was picking up a drink, all Byakuya could think was how beautiful her neck would look if there were one or two, maybe three generous hickeys spread across the skin.

_Kuchiki Byakuya_, he chided himself in his mind, _Control your raging libido for God's sake._

It had been a while since the last time he experienced such overwhelming lust for Emily. During puberty it was the worst, reaching the painful levels but then when he reached his twenties, Byakuya was positive he could somehow exert his control on it. When Hisana came into the scene, things became a tad better. Not only he was more focused on Hisana and her needs, pushing his love for Emily at the back of his mind, he also tamed his inner fire using Hisana's body. It worked for a short while but Byakuya was never fully satisfied.

After Hisana died, things pretty much went back to the way they were, however when Byakuya experienced Emily's second and final breakdown, all the sexual desire he felt for her was forgotten. All he cared about was her well being, her happiness.

But now it was back. It was back, full force and it was driving him crazy.

"Thank you," she suddenly said, sipping from her glass of red wine, "You saved me back there."

"I should be apologizing," he corrected, "For my mother, first of all. She can get ahead of herself sometimes."

She smiled at him, making all his insides stir angrily. "I know, I can finally say that I can bear with it."

"I understand. By the way, you look beautiful tonight," Byakuya said, more like blurted, groaning internally when she blushed profusely. _Was she doing this on purpose?_

"Thanks, you do too," she replied shyly.

There it was again; the weird, tense silence between them. She wasn't looking at straight him like she normally did; she was staring at her feet. He could tell she was nervous about something – of course he didn't believe her before when she had said she was okay – but he couldn't find out what that something was.

"Are you sure you are alright?", he asked again.

Her brows frowned and relaxed in an instant as she stared at him, her eyes ablaze, spreading scorching, liquid fire all over his body. Byakuya was stunned. _She had never looked at him like that before._

It almost felt like… Like… Like she was flirting with him._  
_

_No, no, no! That was just his mind playing painful tricks on him._

"Yeah," she muttered, looking away, "I'm fine."

"You know I can tell when you are lying, yes?", he said, quirking an eyebrow.

Emily sighed. "I know."

"I won't push you if you don't want to talk about it."

She smiled weakly at him. "Thanks."

It was then that Byakuya noticed a stray lock of her deep blue hair falling separately from the rest of her hair. Absently minded, he reached for this strand and gently tucked it behind Emily's ear, accidentally brushing the sensitive, soft skin there.

_She shivered.  
_  
"Dinner's served!", his mother suddenly chirped from the other side of the room, making Emily jump a little. If he wasn't used to his mother antics already, Byakuya would have jumped too. Emily skidded quickly towards the dinner table, calling his name over her shoulder. He barely registered her voice.

He was so agitated right now for two reasons; one, he had been interrupted and two…

Well you see, unrequited love is like a glass of emotions, slowly filling up and up until it reaches its peak and spills the contents. That is the moment you can't hold them off and you confess.

Byakuya had been doing a very good job containing his emotions from exploding but alas, the glass not only overflowed...

It broke to pieces.

**XXXX**

_Finally it was over._

Emily was so, so fucking glad – and yes! She cursed – that the event in the Kuchikis had finally come to an end. It took too much longer than she had expected.

Yes, okay, the food was good, the wine was good but what's the good food and wine when the company was shitty?

Kuchiki family hated Emily for one an only reason; the repeated failures in her love life. It wasn't exactly big news that she had all those unfortunate events the previous years, however, all the Kuchikis were still whispering behind her back, and what is worse? They were encouraging Byakuya to cut all ties with her.

Especially Byakuya's father, Hector Kuchiki. The raven haired man with the sharp nose and cold green eyes lived and breathed to make Emily feel like trash.

Byakuya though was the one who wouldn't hear any of this. He stubbornly refused to listen to his parents and let her go, no matter how much of a trouble that caused him.

_That was one of the great many things she loved about him._

They were in his car, driving back to her house. There was silence between them, something not entirely unusual, taking into consideration that Byakuya wasn't much of a talker, but it sure as hell wasn't one of their usual, comfortable silences. Emily could even taste the waves of nervousness and agitation seeping from the raven haired best friend. Which only served to make her nervous as well.

It was true that after some point in the night – right when dinner started – Byakuya had started acting a little weird. She herself was behaving like a jittery idiot the whole night but Byakuya constantly seemed lost in thought, his black eyebrows pulled together in either consideration or confusion, she couldn't really tell. And as usual, his face was unreadable. _How the hell could he do that?_

She chanced a glance at he man, noticing just how hard he was griping the steering wheel.

"Byakuya," she asked, swallowing around the lump in her throat, "Are you alright?"

There went a few seconds of silence before the man mumbled a quiet, "Yes." His eyes didn't even move from the road before them.

He was lying obviously but she didn't press it any first her. She instead stayed quiet.

And so was the ride back to the house. Silence and then some. Sometimes Byakuya was really unfathomable.

They were in the elevator, on their way up to Emily's apartment – Byakuya wouldn't hear about letting a lady walk alone to her house, like a true gentleman – when Emily asked him again.

"Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting strangely for some time now."

"I am fine Emily," he said, his tone sharp, curt, "I'm just tired."

Huffing angrily, Emily stepped out of the elevator as it arrived in her floor and opened her purse to retrieve her keys. She then turned her back on her friend to open the door when suddenly firm arms wrapped around her waist and a solid body glued to her back. She blushed madly, her heartbeat skyrocketing.

_Kuchiki Byakuya never touched a woman without her permission._

"Wh-What's wrong, Byakuya, tell me," she stuttered, both confused and shocked.

"Why are you doing this to me?", he murmured huskily in her ear, the sound accompanied with the hot breath brushing on the delicate organ made her want to shiver but she contained it.

"What am I doing?", she asked, breathlessly, her heart now undergoing a Shakira dance fit in her chest. _What the hell was Byakuya talking about?  
_  
"You are… You are so beautiful, you smell so good…" To emphasize his point, Byakuya took a deep breath in her neck, then went back to her ear.

"It is driving me insane," he whispered sensually into her ear and this time, she shivered violently and closed her eyes. It was unecessary to mention that her whole body was noticeably hotter by now.

"Look at you," the black haired man muttered, rubbing achingly slow circles on her hips with his thumbs, "You say that you'll never open up to another man anymore yet…" He pressed his hard body closer to hers and she had to bit her lip in order to stop the whimper bubbling on her throat, "Yet you melt right into my arms. Why are you doing this Emily?"

Emily's mind was blank, dead. She couldn't think. She couldn't think anything beyond Byakuya's warm, solid body pressed on her back and Byakuya's deep voice ringing in her ear. Who would have thought that Byakuya actually was… _sexy?_

"It's-it's," she stuttered, trying to catch her run away breath, "That's because it's you."

"Me?"

"Yeah," she explained, nodding dumbly. She swallowed again and took a deep breath. "You're- you're the only one to-to treat me kindly the whole time, without asking a-anything in return."

The firm grip around her body tightened and Byakuya buried his face where the shoulder met the neck. His breathing was short and erratic, burning the skin of her neck. Emily could feel his heartbeat on her back, so close they were; she was shocked and relieved at the same time that it was beating just as fast as hers was.

"Emily, I," Byakuya began to say but stopped. He took a deep breath and tried again, the words coming out his mouth dropping like a bomb in a pond.

"Emily, I am in love with you," he finally confessed, "For quite a long while now."

Seriously, if her heartbeat increased a little more, they'd have to call an ambulance. _So Ichigo knew something, didn't he? Fucking bastard. _Needless to say, she was already so dizzy that if Byakuya were to let her go, she'd fall down. But one question suddenly popped into her hazy mind.

"How long?"

There was a small chuckle coming from the man behind her before he answered, "How long do we know each other?", he asked, confusing her so much that she frowned.

"Thirty years," she replied.

Byakuya chuckled again, planting a chaste kiss on her neck. "This long then."

Emily was struck, dumbfounded, shocked… _No_, these words fell pathetically to describe what she was feeling at that moment. "That's-That's impossible."

"I've loved you ever since you walked up to me and said, 'Hello, you wanna play pirates with us?'. I fell in love with your smile and your eyes at first and then I fell for _you_," Byakuya explained and Emily could hear a smile in his voice at the reminiscing. That shocked her even more.

_Thirty years. Byakuya had loved her for thirty years and she had never suspected anything_.

"H-Hisana?", she then asked, breathing around the lump in her throat, "You didn't love her?"

"I loved her, I really did but what I felt for her was nothing remotely close to what I felt for you. What I still feel for you."

Emily was really temped to sit down and bawl her eyes out, to apologize to Byakuya for being such a horrible person and never notice anything but she didn't think Byakuya would be very happy if she did so. And she definitely didn't want to trouble him more than she already had.

"Why," she asked instead, "Why didn't you say anything?" Meanwhile, she reached for his hands with hers, placing them on top.

Byakuya was silent before he sighed. "I was happy to just be by your side," he said.

Emily felt her eyes water. _Oh God that was so... Unfair._ "But you deserve so much more than this."

He hugged her even tighter. "You are everything that I want and if being your friend is all I can get from our relationship, I will not ask for more," he muttered and sighed. "Now that you know my feelings, however, I wish to become a little selfish and ask you to… To at least think about," he stuttered, "… about us being together."

_That's the least I can do for you, idiot,_ Emily thought sarcastically but instead hummed in approval. Then slowly, reluctantly the strong arms around her disappeared as the raven haired male pulled back. Emily's balance faltered a little but she managed to hide it and turned around and face the man.

Byakuya was not looking at her in favor of staring at the floor, which made her frown. "Hey," she demanded, "Look at me." The brunet ignored her.

"I should probably go," he said instead, turning on his heel but Emily wouldn't allow it. She grasped his wrist and pulled him back to face her, her hand griping his chin, forcing him to look at her.

Be it Byakuya's black eyes full of uncertainty, be it the ideas Ichigo had planted in her head, be it her unconditional love she felt for the man and would do everything for his sake, but before she could realize what she was doing, Emily's lips were gently kissing his thin ones.

Soft, chaste pecks but when Byakuya wouldn't react, she pulled back, frowning. The frown however immediately disappeared when she saw Byakuya's eyes wide as saucers, his mouth slightly open in shock. She smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I-I-I love you so much," she stuttered, the sound muffled by Byakuya's shirt, "But I'm afraid of losing you, if-if things change between us."

"I plan of never letting you go." The finality of his words shocked her. She pulled away to look at him.

"Byakuya, I'm not as perfect as you think I am," she said. The brunet cupped her cheek, his black eyes swimming with affection that made her shiver from her core.

"You are just as perfect as I could ever want you to be," he said with a kind smile.

Emily's heart clenched in her chest, tears forming in her eyes. _She didn't deserve this_.

"You _do_ deserve this," Byakuya retorted at her inner monologue with a frown, his face deadly serious, "Don't you ever, ever say you don't deserve being loved."

She gave him an incredulous stare. "What, you can read my mind now?"

Byakuya chuckled and Emily found herself smiling too. "I am very much aware of the negative thoughts about yourself, Emily," he said.

"But," she insisted, "I'm… I'm like… Broken."

"I'll heal your wounds."

"I have two kids, who, okay they love you, but…"

"I'll adopt them."

"People will say bad things about you."

"I'll close my ears."

"Your family…!"

"... Can go fuck themselves," Byakuya said sternly, effectively silencing her.

It was the first time in her entire life Emily had heard Byakuya curse.

"I love you," he then added, his face softening, his thumb running over her lips.

Emily swallowed, willing herself not to hyperventilate, willing her heart to stop tap dancing on her tongue.

"Kiss me," she croaked.

He did. It was slow, tender, slanting their lips against each other's, a sigh from Byakuya, half a moan from Emily. Then it was over. Greedy for more, Emily frowned when Byakuya pulled back. The man chuckled.

"I have my limits you know."

She understood. "Okay."

"I should go," the brunet said and took a step away. She instantly missed the warmth from his body.

"I will see you at work tomorrow, yes?", she asked, sounding a little too desperate even to herself.

"Yes. Maybe get some coffee before work?", Byakuya said, his eyes dancing in what could be described as bliss.

"Pick me up at nine?"

"Sharp."

They chuckled together but then became serious again. Emily was the one to avert her gaze, turning at the door. "G-Good night then."

"Sleep tight."

**XXXX**

Byakuya could feel Emily's blue eyes boring holes into his back as he walked to the elevator, and a goofy smile broke on his face.

_He… He did it. He told her how he felt about her._

_And she didn't reject him, didn't mock him… She actually… Kissed him._

The brunet sat down at the driver's seat of his car, wishing that someone would never wake him up from this perfect dream. Then again, he touched his still burning lips and licked Emily's taste, which made him think that maybe… _maybe it wasn't just a dream after all._

He couldn't believe it though, the progression of things that is. All his emotions poured out of him like a tidal wave, destroyed effortlessly all the defenses he had set all these years and spilled from his mouth.

At first he thought it was disaster; Emily would be disgusted by him and push him away but… but instead she embraced him and told him she'd think about it.

Byakuya smiled. Okay, he really shouldn't get his hopes too up already but the way she kissed him back there had planted the seed of hope and now it was starting to bloom in his chest. He had to be careful with Emily though; just as she said, she was broken and the trust she had on other people was very small.

_I will earn that trust back_, Byakuya mentally promised, setting the engine on. _Even if it takes my whole life._

**XXXX**

**Oh drama! Drama! So much drama! I never thought I was capable of writing something so dramatic. :P**

** Couple one; paired up and ready to go.**

** Well?**

**Queen.**


	12. Chapter 12

******Guess what? I've got a little more of Grimmjow ^_^**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters, however I do own and claim Emily and Emma.**

**XXXX**

* * *

_The King barks,_

_His fangs bared,_

_His hand bloodied,_

_His face pale._

_The shackles wrapped around his neck,_

_Raw,_

_They bite._

_Pride,_

_Grips hard on his confines._

_His shield is torn,_

_Armor loose, broken._

_Blood._

_Blood oozing from his wounds._

_But he will never lose._

_He grasps his sword tight,_

_The hilt digs into his skin,_

_It bites._

_It breaks the skin._

_Alas, he will never lose._

_To save his kingdom,_

_The kingdom of his pride._

_Isn't it lonely in that world of yours?_

_No,_

_It's the voices that keep me company._

* * *

_Go back into being an asshole that gets off by hurting his family._

No.

No!

That wasn't true! That wasn't the reason why he did it!

_"I need to get stronger."_

_"Baby, why do you hate me so much?"_

_No, mom, I don't hate you. I could never hate you._

_I love you, I love you so damn much. But I have to do this. I can't stay weak my whole life, I need to take some risks, get out there on my own and learn what this world is about._

_I can't face you as I am right now. How could I? _

_I'm still a kid mom, but I'm growing up. Please let me do this by myself and don't cry._

_"You're hurting your family more."_

No, that was a lie. He protected his family from himself, he couldn't face them now with him being so weak, so immature.

The worst part, the part that killed him the most was that he couldn't tell them. He couldn't show any weakness to the people he wanted to protect. He couldn't. It was better if his mother thought that he hated her; at least he threw dust in her eyes, hiding his true, ugly self.

_Hate._

_"Why do you hate me so much?"  
_  
But still, it stung. It ached that his mother believed he hated her but if that was for her own good, if she would let him go easier like this, then so be it.

_Mommy, I could never hate you. You're... You're the most amazing person in the world. You got pregnant with me right when you got into medical school but you didn't care, you carried me around, took care of me on your own because your parents kicked you out of the house, you studied for school and worked to keep a food on our table._

_I know it was hard mommy, I could see your face growing older and older, day by day._

_When I grew up a little, I tried to help you, you know? I lied to you when I told you I wasn't hungry or that I had eaten so that you'd eat my share of food and stay strong and keep studying like you always did._

_I was useless, even back then, I couldn't help you. I couldn't work, I couldn't make money to buy you all the pretty things, mommy._

_You used to say that money can't buy happiness. But at least it could buy a better life for you. For me, I didn't deserve it but you, you mom, you deserve everything and then some._

_You always told me that we'll make it through somehow. When you'd become a doctor, we'd have more money at our disposal and we could eat more. You promised me that you'd buy me as much ice cream as I wanted but it was not what I wished for._

_"Would we be able to travel around the world, mommy?"_

_You'd always smile at me when I asked you that. "Yes baby, I promise."_

_Did we ever travel together, mom?_

_When I get stronger, we will, okay?_

_Then it was... Then came that ominous day. I can't bear to remember it mom, it scares me. It scares me how dangerous people are. It terrifies me._

_Why did he do that, mom? Why did he hurt you? Wasn't he supposed to love you instead?_

_You know that tattoo I have on my neck, behind my ear? The one you hate because it makes me look like a delinquent?_

_Yeah, I did it for a reason; I was six when it happened and you whispered in my ear that you'd protect me. _

_I made an oath that day and with that tattoo I sealed it._

_I am the one who will protect you from now on._

_"I love him, Grimmjow. I finally found someone to treat me right."_

_That's what you said about that bastard, Emma's father and as soon as he got you knocked up, he left._

_He left as well._

_Why does everybody leave, mom?_

_It broke your heart but mine was broken too. When I saw you sitting on the floor, hugging your knees and crying your eyes out, my heart shattered to tiny little pieces. I hate to see you cry, although your eyes are so much more beautiful when you do._

_So contradictory... _

_"Mom, whatchu cryin' for?" I was thirteen then, I was a little more aware of my surroundings._

_"It's nothing baby," you whispered but I didn't believe you. You can't lie, mom, you know that?_

_After a few days watching you being a living, vomiting ghost, I realized what had happened._

_I was angry, mom. I was so angry. I was angry that the bastard had left you but I was also angry that I couldn't protect you. I couldn't do anything to ease your pain, physical or psychological. _

_I am sorry. I am sorry I am still so inexperienced. _

_I called Shirosaki, you know, that white haired bastard with the strange golden on black eyes? The one you told me not to hang out with because he seemed dangerous?_

_He is crazy as hell mom, but he is my one and only friend. The only person that has my back in the outside world._

_So I called this snotty fucknut and we hunt down Emma's father. We __broke every single one of_ his bones. Then we called an ambulance. We were't so heartless, even though he deserved it.

_He didn't recognize us because we were wearing masks. We introduced ourselves as Sexta and Mala Suerte._

_The "Sixth" and the "Bad Luck"._

_I never told you about this because I knew you'd get mad and scared._

_That's why I am isolating myself, mom. If you were to see me as I am now, you would be scared. I am dangerous, unpredictable. I use my fists a lot, my mind less. _

_I want to become stronger emotionally too, to hide you under my wing and heal you, to see you smile like you did back then, before all that shit happened._

_I really love you mom. And Emma too. She is so cute, she has your eyes._

Why was he getting so emotional all of a sudden? This was a dream right?

_I need to protect. I can't afford to lose_.

_"You play so good, Grimmy."_

That's what Emma would say when she heard him playing the guitar. The sound of her childish voice would always be muffled from the door of his room. He wanted to thank her, to get out of this fucking room and hug her like he knew she was craving for, but he couldn't bring himself around to do it.

_"I need to get stronger, to control myself so that I won't crush her with my inexperience."_

Yeah, that was the plan.

But then came Kurosaki and his mind-altering, stupid philosophies. Kurosaki's words burnt like fire and cut like a blade.

_You should be ashamed of yourself._

_I am._

_Go back into being an asshole that gets off by hurting his family._

_No, you got this wrong! I don't like hurting my family!_

But still... His brown eyes were shimmering in understanding when Grimmjow opened his soul. When he told him why.

_He_ understood.

Grimmjow always thought that no one would understand, that everyone would mock his weakness.

Kurosaki said that he knew how he felt because it was the same way he felt when he saw his mother die in his hands.

Damn, this cocky bastard was just as hurt and damaged as he was after all, if not more.

But look at him; he was so bright, so gentle and kind, so smart. Grimmjow was jealous. Why couldn't he shine as much as Kurosaki did?

Why did he have to be so ugly?

_"I'm not in the position to tell you what to do, but because I was doing exactly what you do now, shutting myself off my family because I was ashamed, I know that you are hurting your family more than saving it."_

_You are not in the position, my ass, Kurosaki. You were not in the position, you still spout your bullshit.  
_  
But he knew. He knew because that's what he did when he was a bratty little shit, like him.

Just how similar was Kurosaki to him?

_You tend to lose the meaning of the forest for the sake of one tree._

Grimmjow felt his heart grow at ease. It felt good to know that someone, somewhere out there could understand.

"_You can't carry the world onto your shoulders. It's too damn heavy._"

_If I don't carry it, stupid, then who will? It is heavy, yes, but it's something I have to do, I have to do it to face my family.  
_  
Just like the King is willing to die to protect his kingdom.

_I_ _am the King, Kurosaki. I won't lose. I won't lose to something like this._

Share the trouble? Ask for help?

That was just stupid but...

But now that he shared the contents of his heart, he did feel lighter.

Maybe Kurosaki was right? Maybe he really needed a guide?

No, he was an orange haired clown and an asshole.

_But... But he'd been through what I am going through. He knows how he ends._

_Could he be my guide?_

_Ah..._

_So contradictory_.

Is this still a dream? Or just a trick his mind played on him while he was asleep?

Ah, we would wake up and decide.

**XXXX**

**Grimm's dream. I know it's a little confusing, with not so much of an order, but that's how dreams are. I love writing about a character's dream, you can see so many things about one's soul...**

**The first part of the chapter, I don't know if it is a poem or lyrics or whatever, I wrote it myself. I claim copyright. It was inspired by Bleach episode 190, when Grimmjow, after his fight with Ichigo, he stood up once again.**

**Hail to the King.**

**Queen.**


End file.
